Always Alison
by JenTheWriter
Summary: *FINALLY UPDATED: CH. 15 * -- It's time someone brought Livvie's lies to an end and Alison intends to do it, while getting back her man at the same time. -- *Please read and respond if you'd be so kind* lol
1. So it begins...

**__**

Always, Alison

Disclaimer: Don't own them, don't claim to.

Rating: Somewhere between PG13 and R -- perhaps some language, adult content, adult situations

Summary: Alison decides to put an end to Livvie's reign of lies.

Author's note: Livvie hasn't gotten pregnant by either Rafe or the Avatar.

****

Chapter One

The smug smile. The triumphantly evil twinkle in her dark eyes. The adoring way she looked up at the man that was now her husband. The protective way her hands pressed against her flat abdomen, as if she were protecting the child within her.

It was enough to make Alison sick.

The night she had walked away from Rafe, Alison thought maybe with time she could move on from the love that was her whole life. Out of sight, out of mind -- right? It shouldn't have been so hard with as big as Port Charles was, but it suddenly seemed so very small. Because every time Alison turned around there was Livvie, her once best friend, shoving into her face what she had lost.

Correction: What Livvie had stolen from her.

Alison's blue eyes fell away from the scene Livvie was making with Rafe and focused on her tablemates in the Recovery Room. Jamal and Jack exchanged brief looks before they too looked toward Livvie hanging all over Rafe.

"I never did like that guy," Jamal breathed out, which had Jack nodding his head beside him.

"Jamal," Alison warned in a soft voice as she glanced at Rafe's face. He appeared as though he wanted to be anywhere than where he was. And he seemed really uncomfortable with the way his wife was behaving. "It's not his fault Livvie tricked him."

A frown turned down the corners of Jamal's lips as he gazed back at Alison. "When are you going to stop making excuses for the guy? Everyone has a choice whether they want to lead or be led. I'm guessing it didn't take much for Rafe to want to be strung along."

"I have to agree with Jamal," Jack piped in, seeing the look on Alison's face and recognizing it as annoyance.

"Well, who was asking either of you anyway?" She mumbled and sighed heavily. "He came back with like no memory and Livvie took advantage of that. She fed him a pack of lies and he had no idea what was truth or what wasn't. Rafe is a very trusting man, he had like no reason to believe Livvie would be dishonest with him."

Jack sat back in his chair and shook his head. "She is a very convincing liar. Who better to know that than me, right?"

Alison raised her hand and pointed at Jack. "See and Jack has his memory. Imagine what it must have been like for-"

"Okay Spunky," Jamal amended in an even tone. "I'll back off."

"Thank you, Jamal," Alison whispered and then shot Livvie and Rafe another look.

"I'll concede that he's not entirely to blame for this situation." When Alison when to interrupt him, Jamal held up his hand and shook his head. "But the guy had some say in what was going on between him and Livvie, and you won't change my mind on that. So, I guess the only thing left now is to ask what are you going to do about this?"

That had Alison looking away from the couple to her former boyfriend. "What do you mean?"

"I mean about Rafe and Livvie. What are you going to do to get your boy back?"

Alison glanced from Jamal to Jack and then down to her hands folded upon the tabletop. "I'm going to do nothing."

"Nothing?" Both Jack and Jamal asked at the same time.

She nodded her head slowly. "I know what type of man Rafe is and what having children and a family means to him. I'm not about to destroy his dream for him."

"This isn't his dream," Jack began, which had Alison's eyes meeting his. "This is some fantasy Livvie has cooked up and she's been spoon feeding it to him. With what you have told Jamal and myself about your relationship with Rafe, do you honestly think he would be with her if she hadn't trumped up everything she's told him and everyone else?" Jack fell silent for a moment, thinking about a conversation he had with Livvie from the past, while he drummed his fingers on the tabletop.

"What?" Jamal asked, noticing that look on his friend's face.

Jack looked over at his ex-girlfriend as he recalled more of the talk he had with her once not so long ago. "Nothing. Well, no, it's not nothing. I just remembered when Alison and Rafe first hooked up Livvie was endlessly telling me how wrong Rafe was for Alison, how he would hurt her, that he would leave her and she wanted to prevent that from happening. She seemed to have a hate-on for this guy. And now we're supposed to believe, from her, that there was this grand love affair going on between her and Rafe while she was dating me and Rafe was with Alison?"

Jamal listened as Jack spoke and then sighed heavily. "I don't know what to say, buddy. If what Livvie is saying is true--" Out of the corner of Jamal's eye he saw Alison's eyes widen and her mouth open to correct him, but he hurried on before she could interrupt him. "--IF things went down like Livvie said, then maybe that was her being jealous of Ali still being with Rafe."

"You don't honestly believe that, do you, Jamal?" Jack asked, his disbelief at what Jamal had said written all over his face. "How can any of us believe a word that comes out of Livvie's mouth? Especially since she tried to set up Alison for Kevin's murder -- and he wasn't even dead!" His gaze drifted over to his ex-girlfriend's face and he frowned. "You want to believe her, because she's so convincing. There's just something in her eyes when she speaks. They plead with you that you believe her even though she knows you know she's lying. Then there's the tone of her voice. It says she knows she's lied in the past but this time she's telling the truth and you just gotta believe her." Jack looked back at Jamal and chuckled wryly. "It's hard not to."

Alison swallowed hard and wondered if this was how it was for Rafe. All the times Livvie sat down and told him of their non-existent past together, how much in love they were. Had Rafe ever felt like Jack had? What about the times Rafe discovered Livvie in one of her many lies? Had he listened to Livvie try to explain her way out of the lie and knew she was still lying but desperately wanted to believe that this time she was telling the truth?

If this were the case, was Jamal right? Was Rafe choosing to be led around by Livvie because he wanted to be?

Jamal noticed that Alison was lost in her thoughts or in some sort of daze. So, he lifted his hand before his face and snapped his fingers a few times. "Ali, you in there? Earth to Ali." When he saw the soft shake of her head and the blinking of her eyes, he knew she had come out of where ever she had been. "You all right?"

Her blue eyes fell upon Rafe's face and she felt her heart clench painfully in her chest when she saw him smile at something Livvie had said. "There is an old adage somewhere that says something like someone can't be taken or stolen from you unless they had wanted to go in the first place."

"Ali," Jamal said sympathetically as he laid his hand upon Alison's.

She quickly pulled her hand out from beneath Jamal's as her eyes filled with anger. "No, Jamal. It's not like that. What Rafe and I have is special and untouchable by anything--" Alison's angry gaze landed upon Livvie's back. "--or anyone for that matter."

Jack found himself grinning in spite of the situation they were all in. Something about the sudden spark in Alison was infectious; it had been a while since she seemed so -- well, determined. It was as though once they had heard Livvie was pregnant the fire in Alison went out. But now, now it seemed to be back.

"So, what are you going to do about it?" Jamal asked, cutting into Jack's thoughts.

Alison tapped her fingers upon the tabletop and bit her lower lip. What was she going to do about it? She had gone on and on about how nothing could ever stand between herself and Rafe. Now was the time to prove it. "I-I'm--" she began after she released her lip and looked at her two closest friends. "--I'm going to get Rafe back by proving that Livvie is like a fraud and make sure she gets the help she deserves."

Jack lifted his beer to his mouth and muttered so very quietly, "I don't think there is any type of help for Livvie except a padded room."

~*~

To Be Continued…


	2. Life

**__**

Always, Alison

Disclaimer: Don't own them, don't claim to.

Rating: Somewhere between PG13 and R -- perhaps some language, adult content, adult situations

Summary: Alison decides to put an end to Livvie's reign of lies.

Author's note: Livvie hasn't gotten pregnant by either Rafe or the Avatar.

****

Chapter Two

Later…

Livvie stared at the calendar in front of her, groaned and then began to pace before it. Her window of opportunity was closing on her. Ovulation. The perfect day to get pregnant. All things that had never once been important to her but were so desperately now. She had to get pregnant. She had to keep Rafe.

It wasn't enough that she had so easily taken Rafe from Alison, but she wanted to make the girl hurt. And make no mistake she would. Alison had swept into her life offering her "friendship" but all she did was take away the things and people that mattered most to her. First her father and then Jack.

Okay, so Alison hadn't exactly taken her father from her, but if she hadn't been communing with black magic and witchcraft her father would have never disappeared in the first place. Then everyone abandoned her to protect poor, pathetically helpless Alison. Lucy, Jack, Jamal -- everyone. The only person who had sided with her was Rafe.

What a wonderful twist of luck she had stumbled across when she found Rafe in the woods. Just lying there, no memory of anything. Most importantly no memory of Alison.

Livvie looked toward the calendar she had pinned up in her bathroom in the hotel room once more. Damn it, she needed to get pregnant. What had seemed like a brilliant idea at the time was slowly turning into the biggest mistake she could have ever made. She knew, from what Alison had told her, that Rafe was a very honorable man. So if he knew she was pregnant there would be no way he'd ever leave her.

Another groan left Livvie as she realized she wouldn't be in this mess if Alison had only died in the hospital from that aneurysm like she was supposed to. Because then Rafe would have never found Alison and Livvie would have never been forced to tell him she was pregnant. Damn Alison. She was still trying to take things that belonged to her. Now Alison was trying to take back Rafe.

But Rafe was hers now fair and square. Rafe was given to her because of all the things Alison had taken from her. It was God's way of saying, "Here you go, Livvie. Alison has taken so much from you, it is your turn to take something from her." She would do anything to keep him.

And she will.

"Think, Livvie, think," she told her reflection in the mirror. "You need to get pregnant and fast. Rafe has become distracted with Alison and her big blue 'love me Rafe' eyes. Doesn't she know that Rafe is married to ME now and he is MY husband? Of course she knows, she just doesn't care. She'll just take and take from me until I'm left with nothing. Well, this time, Alison, you won't be taking this from me. That's right. Rafe thinks I'm pregnant and he'll stand beside me no matter what you do."

A frown pulled at her lips while her brow drew together. "Only problem, Livvie, is you aren't pregnant. I need to get that way soon. If Rafe can't get me pregnant, I could always find someone else, right? There are enough willing men out there to do the job." The thought of finding some random man had Livvie shivering with disgust. "It has to be someone I don't know. Jack would be an easy target, but he'd just tell Alison and of course she'd run to Rafe crying that I cheated." Her mind fell to another Ramsey brother who was once interested in her. "Chris might help me out. But I might be better off with some stranger."

Then something hit her that had her smiling widely. "A stranger is perfect. And I know just where to find … him."

Meanwhile…

The smell of burning candles permeated the air, but it was the sense of peace and calm that had one paying no attention to them. Rafe sat perched upon a pew, his eyes facing the altar before him, his hands steepled together and his chin tucked into the crook between his forefingers and thumbs.

He was at a loss. It was nothing new, considering the state of his memory. But now it all seemed so different. Since waking and finding Livvie, Rafe had been able to calm the fear inside of him. It wasn't a fear of having no memory; well that was part of it. It was just something, a voice you could say, inside of him that had him questioning everything. Especially his life with Livvie.

It was as though that little voice struggled to believe anything that Livvie said to him from the beginning. Not that he thought she had a reason to lie to him, because he didn't think she did. He just didn't feel any attachment to anything she said.

It was crazy. He had amnesia, which is why he didn't feel anything for her or feel drawn to all the stories she told him. Not that they weren't beautiful words, because they were. He just didn't feel alive when she spoke to him about their past.

Then he had met Alison.

Rafe's eyelids slipped closed as the visions of seeing Alison lying in her hospital bed filled his mind. Something strange had happened when he saw her. Not strange in the sense that it was awkward or weird, but he felt all at once at peace, much like he did in a church. The fear of the unknown hadn't haunting him, he suddenly wasn't so desperate to recapture his lost memories, because it was as though he had discovered what he had been searching the blackness of his mind for. He knew finding her would bring an end to his search.

And knowing this was almost as unsettling as it was when he woke up with no memory.

Suddenly Rafe pulled his chin from his hands and stood while scrubbing his palms over his face. Ever since finding Alison all this thoughts always returned to her. He had come here to find some way to quash the feelings bubbling up inside of him. He was a married man, he believed in his vows, and now he was going to become a father. But all he seemed to think about was Alison.

Always Alison.

Was it always going to be this way? Was he always going to see his wife, his child, think of how the weather was beautiful and Alison's face would come to mind? He didn't know her, yet she consumed him. She filled his thoughts, made his heart beat wickedly in his chest. Mostly she made him feel alive.

How could someone he didn't know make him feel this way? No, that was wrong. He did know her, he just couldn't remember knowing her. But every time he fell into her eyes, it was like he reclaimed a piece of himself. Pieces of himself he couldn't remember or understand, but it was slowly making him feel whole again.

A puff of laughter rumbled through his chest as the left corner of his mouth lifted. That was such a strange way to describe looking at her. Falling into her eyes. And it was so easy to become lost within them. Her eyes were this incredible pool of blue that seemed to speak to him from the depths of her soul. When she spoke there was just plain honesty and unbound emotions flowing from them. Though he had become saddle shy taking someone at their word, there was just something about Alison that said she was a truthful person.

This feeling for her had only grown stronger when she explained to him about their past together. What she hadn't told him was why he had left her. Alison had told him he would need to remember that on his own. Why? Was it so awful that he had to recall it on his own because it was too painful for her? No, it couldn't have been if she was still so very much in love with him and the story of their life moved her to happy tears.

Alison seemed to know him. Really know him. In the way that she spoke, the way her eyes would sparkle, the sound of her voice. They were all very simple things, but it moved him. And she spoke to him in ways that didn't require words. Rafe felt drawn to her unlike anyone before in his life. Well, at least it felt that way.

Why was it that he felt this way for Alison and not for Livvie? He had read her journal and enjoyed what was written there. But there was no pull to her version of events as he was to Alison's. Both were very beautiful tales of how each of them fell in love, but it was Alison's story that he wished to remember.

Rafe growled suddenly and moved to stand before a series of unlit candles. He exhaled a breath and gazed towards the ceiling above his head. "Why am I feeling this way? It's not like I can -- I'm married … to a very lovely woman actually. Livvie is beautiful, very much so. But beauty goes more than skin deep, doesn't it?" He asked no one in particular as he shoved a single hand through his blond hair.

"Not that I'm not saying Livvie doesn't have a beautiful soul, I just don't -feel- it. You know? With Alison it's as though I know every inch of her from the tip of her head to the bottom of her soul. She can look at me and it's almost as though I know what she's thinking before she even says it. It's like there is this invisible string that keeps tugging me to Alison, which under different circumstances I probably wouldn't mind."

He tipped his head to the side and humorlessly and helplessly chuckled. "What's wrong with me?" He then lifted his hand towards his temple and thumped it a couple times. "Is my brain not connected to my body? I'm a married man. I believe in every single one of my vows. I want to stay true to them, I do. But why can't I stop thinking I'm making a mistake?"

"Because you are."

Rafe whirled around to find Alison standing at the back of the church. "Al-Alison," he breathed out. "What … what are you-"

"Doing here?" She filled in for him as she began to make her way toward him.

"Something like that." His eyes were locked with hers, his heart pounding so hard in his chest that he felt light headed. This is what he meant by feeling alive when he fell into her eyes.

When she stood before him, Alison smiled gently and announced, "I'm selfish and I feel I have every right to be."

"Selfish?" Rafe asked, his voice filled with disbelief. "Now I don't think-"

Alison held up her hand and pressed the tips of her fore and middle fingers against Rafe's lips to still his mouth. "Don't think. Don't reason. Don't do anything, but listen to what I have to say."

For his answer to her request, Rafe merely nodded his head and enjoyed the feeling of fingers pressed against his mouth. The sensations sparking through at her touch was enough to make him breathless and shiver with unabashed pleasure. Had she always had this effect on him? As he fell a little deeper into her eyes, Rafe had the feeling that she did.

~*~

To Be Continued…


	3. The announcement

**__**

Always Alison

Disclaimer: Don't own them, don't claim to.

Rating: Somewhere between PG13 and R -- perhaps some language, adult content, adult situations

****

Chapter Three

When she was sure he wasn't going to speak, Alison smiled and lowered her fingers from Rafe's mouth. "I know when we spoke the other night I said I had to let you go. Not that I wanted to, but it was like the right thing to do." As her hand came to rest at her side, Alison looked away from Rafe and towards the altar at the front. "I still believe in those vows you took."

He couldn't help himself as he asked, "Then … then why are you here?"

"Because I have been thinking, Rafe. Some heavy-duty thinking. Thinking about what it means to me if I go back on my vow to stay away from you. About what it would mean to you if I did. What it would mean to your child."

"And Livvie," Rafe added when Alison's statement came to an end.

"You know," she began angrily and then took a quick calming breath, "I don't really care what happens to Livvie, Rafe. All you know of her is the person she pretends to like be. You know nothing about her, except what she tells you. No -- no," Alison said suddenly as she curled her arms beneath her chest. "I'm not going to trash her, no matter how much she deserves it. What I came here to do is to make you open your eyes to what is in front of you."

His blue eyes danced over her face, taking in every gentle curve, enjoying the movement of her lips as she spoke. The way she moved her hands when she talked and the faster they went as she grew more frustrated. Rafe then felt as if he had watched her like this before. Not that he hadn't since he first saw her, well what he remembered, but this was different. It was that sense of déjà vu. Like he had watched her and knew all her gestures and motions. Like he knew what each look she gave him meant.

Pulling himself from his thoughts, he asked, "Do you mean that metaphorically or literally?"

Rafe's question had Alison looking at him briefly before she gazed upon the lit candles in the church. "Both actually. Does that make you angry?"

"Angry?" His voice was filled with shocked humor. "I don't know what that makes me, Alison. Ever since I woke up in those woods I haven't felt anything other than confusion." His hand traveled up to his hair and then combed through it. "No, I take that back." That same hand fell before Rafe as he gestured at Alison. "Since I came face to face with you I have felt things that I can't explain. And what I can explain I realize I shouldn't be feeling because I am a married man with a child on the way."

"Right," Alison agreed slowly in a somewhat saddened voice. But she wasn't about to give up. Her blue eyes flew up to meet Rafe's as she shoved her hands into her jeans' pockets. "I know Jack has said as much and I know I've said it a few times, but Rafe … can you really be sure she's like … well, pregnant?" Her tone was one of a person who wanted to scream, "Don't you get it, she's lying to you!"

That had a frown contorting Rafe's face. "Why would she lie to me?"

Suddenly Alison's hands flew into the air, as she asked, "Why wouldn't she, Rafe? She's lied to like everyone she's claimed to love for a long time now. She lied to Jack and she's betrayed me in the worst ways. Livvie's not -- well, all together there anymore, Rafe. She hasn't been since Caleb. And now she's out to destroy my life." She noticed the look on his face, like he didn't believe her and she wanted to wring his neck. Not that she ever would.

"Don't you think it's just a little strange that everyone you've talked to since Livvie and you announced your relationship/marriage seemed shocked and horrified and floundering around in utter disbelief that you and Livvie were together while you were with me? Not to mention that you were an actual couple?"

He crossed his arms over the expansion of his chest as he shrugged. "Livvie said we snuck around in secret."

"Is that so?" She breathed out angrily. "How could you have 'snuck' around with her in private when you spent every moment with me? I mean like -every- single moment until you had to go."

"'Had to go' … you keep saying this. If we were so much in love why did I ever leave you?"

A sudden sadness cast a shadow over Alison's eyes as she gazed away from Rafe and to the candles. One of her fingers reached out and caught a single trail of wax melting down the side of one as she said, "Trust me, you didn't want to leave, but you had to."

His eyes watched the movement of her hand before he captured it, which had her eyes flying to his. "Tell me why," Rafe insisted in a pleading voice. "Tell me why I left you. I need -- I want -- I have to understand why in my right mind I would ever leave you."

Alison swallowed, emotion overtaking her causing the gentle misting of tears in her eyes. She wanted to tell him. She wanted to tell him everything, but she couldn't. She wouldn't. They were Rafe's memories to reclaim and he would do so on his own. "Just trust me, Rafe. I know that is asking a lot, considering your … bride has been asking you to do the same and has been doing nothing but lie to you. In time you will discover why you left and the reasons behind it. But you would have never gone if you had the choice."

"If I had to leave -- leave you -- then why on Earth did I come back?"

"I would like to think it was because I prayed with everything in me that you would return." Her eyes danced over his face and then gazed down at the cross hanging down to the middle of his chest. "Since the moment you left, I prayed that God would find a way to bring you back to me." Alison's pulled her hand from Rafe's then reached out, grasped the cross and turned it so it lay in her palm. "And He has, but only-"

Rafe's hand curled around Alison's, which had her looking up at him. "Only I've come back with no memory of anything."

"Especially no memory of me," she added softly and then swallowed down the sudden lump of emotion in her throat. Having Rafe just simply touch her hand was turning her knees to jelly and knotting up her insides into a ball. It was a blessing and a curse to have him so near. He was all she ever wanted and right now he was all she couldn't have. But she intended to change that.

Summoning all the will power she had, Alison removed her hand from Rafe's and held it against her chest. "Listen, there is something I have learned so far in my life and I think you should know it."

"What's that?"

"That your lies always have a way of catching up to you. And Livvie's? Well hers are taking too long to catch up to her and I totally intend on proving to you what type of person you're married to." Alison actually smiled then, in spite of everything she managed to smile. "I'm going to prove there is no baby, that she is a complete sham and she has fed you a bunch of lies from the beginning."

She was amazing and determined to say the least.

His face suddenly clenched and his eyelids slipped closed at that thought. Then he groaned inwardly after chastising himself for thinking of her like that. He wasn't allowed to think of how beautiful or how amazing Alison was. She wasn't his wife. Livvie was. And he was standing here allowing Alison to speak about his wife like she was someone truly horrible. Livvie wasn't like that. She was … she was … what was she? She was definitely something if he was married to her.

"She's my wife, Alison," Rafe said in a soft voice. "You have to understand that I am going to believe her first over anyone else."

Alison nodded her head slowly. "I know. If you had believed me outright, it just wouldn't be who you are, Rafe. You are fiercely loyal to those you care about. Just -- just one thing though."

Rafe wrapped his arms over his chest again, not because it was a comfortable position, but to prevent him from reaching out and touching Alison again. "What's that?"

"I need a favor from you." She held up her hand to keep him from speaking, and then brushed those fingers through her hair. "Listen to your heart. Don't ignore what it or your gut tells you. If you can't like trust Livvie or myself and anything we say, then trust them -- you may surprise yourself."

Meanwhile…

Elsewhere

"Oh, I may be sick."

Ed grinned as he looked from the screen over to James' face. "What's wrong, James, my boy? Can't take a little bit of good old fashion love?"

James pointed at the screen and then pressed his fingers to his lips. "That, Edward, is not about love. Alison is struggling to get your son to love her again. Of course I have to hand it to Master Rafe for knowing which side his bread is buttered on. That Livvie is one remarkable creature."

That had Ed frowning and gazing at the screen again. "Livvie is some type of creature alright. I have faith in my son that he will do right by his heart and gut instincts and let them lead him."

"Right," James mocked in a voice filled with laughter. "Like he's done so brilliantly thus far? If anything is leading your son it's his-"

Ed's hand flew up, trying to block the rest of James' sentence as he cut in with, "I'm not giving up on Rafe. He and Alison have a special kind of love that even amnesia can't touch. Rafe may not be able to remember Alison, but he knows her." Ed nodded his head firmly as he looked at the screen again. "He knows her."

"Worried, Eddie?" When Rafe's father looked at him, James continued to regard the screen. "Worried that Rafe will fall even more victim to Livvie's charms? Then soon, very soon, I will have your soul as well as your son's?"

"Where in what I said gave you in the impression I was worried?" Ed asked as he folded his arms over his chest.

James held up one finger as he smiled. "Ah, it's not in -what- you said it was in -how- you said it. You're scared Eddie. I can feel your fear vibrating off of you like heat from the flames in Hell. It's so very intoxicating. Your faith in your son is going to be your downfall."

"And your over-confidence in Livvie will be yours. This is far from over. As they say, 'Love conquers all.' Watch and learn Jimmy. Watch and learn about the ways of love."

Looking back at the screen, James gave his full attention to it as he muttered, "Your speech would be touching if I had a heart. But I haven't one so they are just words to me, Eddie. Just words."

~*~

To Be Continued…


	4. Livvie's Plan

**__**

Always Alison

Disclaimer: Don't own them, don't claim to.

Rating: Somewhere between PG13 and R -- perhaps some language, adult content, adult situations

****

Chapter Four

"Strange meeting you here, Livvie."

The sound of the unexpected voice had her jumping and dropping her keys down upon the pavement at her feet. Her eyelids lowered into a scowl as she gazed over her shoulder. "Stalking me now, Jack?"

His shoulders lifted into a careless shrug and then bent down to retrieve her keys. "Why not? You have your -husband- believing I attacked you. Why shouldn't I follow you around where ever you go? I'm obsessed with you, don't you know?"

"I wouldn't doubt it," she breathed out as she snatched her keys from Jack's hand once he stood upright again.

"You're welcome."

"Whatever," Livvie breathed out and then began to flip through the ring to find her car key. "Do you need something, Jack, or are you just going to stand here breathing down my neck."

He stepped a little closer as he murmured, "At one time you couldn't get enough of me doing that."

Livvie's eyelids slid closed as she shimmied away from Jack. "Well, that was then. The only man I want near me is my husband."

A chuckle rumbled up his chest as Jack moved to lean against Livvie's car. "Oh, you mean Rafe?"

"What other husband do I have?" She snapped angrily, annoyed that Jack wouldn't leave her alone so she could slip off to her appointment.

"Well, there was Caleb," Jack listed off as he held up one finger. He tipped his head to the side as he made a face. "And he was pretty bad. At least I can say your taste in men has gotten better, unfortunately I wish could say the same about your demeanor."

Livvie stormed around her car so she stood at the driver's side door. "You're right, my taste in men has improved. I left you for Rafe didn't I?"

Jack laughed then and them smiled in disbelief. "You're actually beginning to believe your own web of lies aren't you?" When he saw her look away from him and her face turn into a blank mask, his laughter grew. "You are! Oh man Livvie that's pretty pathetic. You know as well as I do that when Rafe was here before he and Alison were deeply committed to each other, just as we were."

She shrugged her shoulders, desperately forcing herself to ignore every word Jack was saying. "It doesn't matter now, does it? Rafe is with me now and poor needy Alison has nothing. I won, Jack."

"Wow," he breathed out as he shook his head. "When did you become as psychotic as your mother?" He noticed the slight twitching of the corner of her mouth and knew he had struck a nerve. "First you frame Alison for Kevin's murder-"

"I did not!" She shouted.

"And your dad wasn't even dead. Bet you don't even feel the least bit sorry. You ran around for weeks telling everyone who would listen that Alison had gone crazy. That she was dealing with witchcraft and black magic. But no one else saw it, did they? The only thing anyone saw was how off the deep end you were going." Jack wiggled his hands in the air and muttered, "Crazy Livvie was on another rampage and that really ticked you off so you had to plant 'evidence' to make Alison look like the bad guy. You may have pulled the wool over your dad's eyes and a man who has amnesia, but don't think everyone else is fooled."

Livvie held her head a little bit higher as she responded with, "I don't know what you're talking about Jack."

"Of course you wouldn't, because if you did that would mean you had a conscience. And that's something I think you lost long ago when Caleb came to town."

She glared at the man whom she had once centered her life around. At one time Jack was everything she had wanted in a man, but now she knew better. She knew what she was missing when Rafe came into her life. Now she knew what she really wanted and she wasn't about to give that up.

"You know what's sad, Livvie?" Jack asked into the silence.

"You following me around harassing me?" Livvie offered with an angry smirk upon her lips.

He shook his head, completely amused by her unease with him around her. "The fact that before the whole candle situation, Alison was your best friend. You two were absolutely close, inseparable even. Of course you were giving her grief about Rafe and how he'd break her heart." His brow furrowed then as looked Livvie in the eyes. "What about that? If you were having such a secretive grand love affair with Rafe why is it you wanted him away from Alison because you feared her getting hurt?"

"Isn't it obvious? I knew he would leave her for me and I didn't want her hurt."

"Right. So then if you didn't want her hurt, why were you going around with Rafe behind her back?" Before Livvie could give her answer, Jack intercepted her with, "You know what, it doesn't matter. My point of all this, Livvie, is that you and Alison were best friends once, until you got it into your head she killed your dad. And guess what -- he's not even dead. Instead of feeling ashamed and asking for her forgiveness for planting all that evidence against her -- like Kevin's bloody shirt and dumping Ryan's ashes on Barrington property -- you're holding fast to the fact that you're still the victim. The only one who is eating that up is your husband and you know, I'm not sure he's going to buy that for long."

Livvie continued to glare at Jack as he continued with his diatribe.

"And one of these days, Livvie, Rafe is going to get his memory back. He's going to get it back and he's going to know what the truth is. Then he will tell everyone what a liar you are and everyone will believe him because of this web you've spun. You're going to get caught Livvie," Jack announced in an elated tone. "You're going to get caught and Alison -will- get Rafe back, that is if she can forgive him. And I bet you anything she can because she doesn't blame him for anything that's happened. She blames you. Then you'll get yours Livvie."

Her shoulders straightened as her body went rigid. "Is that a threat Jack?"

"No," he assured as he smiled. "It's just a promise. You may be able to hold Rafe down with your lies, but once he gets his memory back …well, you're head is going to be on the chopping block. And I for one can't wait to see that happen. Have a nice day, Livvie," Jack ended and then began to walk away.

Quickly Livvie got into her car and sighed loudly once she was seated. Damn Jack. What did he know? Her eyes flew to the rearview mirror and watched him walk down the street. But he had a point. Once Rafe's memory returned she was in deep, deep trouble. Not only did she lie to everyone, but she also lied to her father to get him on her side. Livvie lifted her hands to the steering wheel and nervously began to drum them against it. What was she going to do? She was doing everything possible to keep Rafe from remembering, but his memories would return.

A smile then curled the corners of her lips as she nearly laughed. It wouldn't matter if his memories returned or not. She would be pregnant with his child, more or less, and he would stick with her out of obligation. So even if Rafe got his memory back, Alison would never get her angel back. He would Livvie's for the next eighteen years or until the Big Man upstairs took him back. This was so perfect!

**__**

Down the street…

Jack pulled out his cell phone and quickly punched in a number. When the person on the other side picked up he grumbled, "Livvie is up to something."

"What do you think it is?"

"My guess, is she's looking for a way to get herself pregnant. With Rafe distracted by Alison, I'm sure Livvie is finding it hard to get pregnant."

"So you don't think she really is?"

Jack glanced back towards where Livvie still sat in her car. "Honestly, I'm not sure. But my gut is telling me this is just another one of her lies. So she's either on the hunt for a man to knock her up-"

"Or she's going directly to the source, completely bypassing the man."

He hadn't thought about that. "Now how do we track her down? She obviously wouldn't use her real name."

"I've already taken care of that Jack," Lucy assured him in a quiet voice, like someone else was in the room with her. "I know we all secretly teamed up to get Alison and Rafe back together, but I needed proof for Doc. I mean this is his daughter and he trusts her. I know he's going to get hurt in all this and I just don't want to make anymore accusations with nothing to back them up with."

Jack's brow drew together as he listened to Lucy talk. "What did you do?"

"I hired a private investigator."

****

That evening…

Rafe paced back and forth upon the little area that was settled between the hotel room door and the bed. It had been hours since he had left Livvie to take solace in the church. And he knew she would be angry that he had been gone so long, but what he hadn't expected was that she'd be gone when he returned.

Where could she have gone?

He briefly wondered if Livvie imagined he was with Alison and went in search of him. Well, technically he had been with Alison, but it wasn't as though he had went out and actively sought her out. She had come to the church where he had been.

That had his brow pulling together. How had she known where to find him? Had she known when he felt confused or lost he always went into a church? Had he done that before? It felt right being in a church, it was like coming home. There was something calming about being inside of a building designated as a house of God. Not that he couldn't talk to God anywhere, because he could. There was just something about a church.

Much like Alison.

His feet came to a halt as his eyelids rolled closed. There his mind went again -- back to Alison. "Why is this happening?" Rafe whispered out as he flopped down upon the bed and dropped his head into his hands. Could he not go two minutes without thinking of the blonde who had haunted his mind since Livvie suggested that he marry her?

His blue eyes dropped down the gold band upon his ring finger while sighing heavily. Rafe still remembered that day in the hospital when Alison told him that they had gotten married. It was more of a spiritual thing apparently, because he wasn't legally married to Alison. But if what she said was true … wasn't he breaking his vows to her?

Rafe sighed again as he tried to search his mind for memories -- memories of his life with Alison -- but instead he came across a different scene. He was getting married, but it was to Livvie. It was as he was saying his vows to his future wife that he was recalled words from the past. As though he had spoken these particular vows before.

"People spend forever searching and looking on a journey to nowhere. And you know what? I guess that could have been me, except I found you. Now I know that my journey began and it's gonna end with you. … I promise that I will carry our love with me forever- that we will be joined together as one for now and into eternity."

That had Rafe shooting off the bed. He had stopped his wedding to Livvie because he thought he was already married. She had told him that he technically was because the two of them had done it once before, but it hadn't been legal.

Had he been some type of player amongst Livvie and Alison or had he only been through a ceremony once before with Alison? No, that didn't seem right. He couldn't have played around with pretend marriages if the real thing was so important to him. So, one of the two was lying. If it was Alison, then Livvie was right and Alison couldn't get over the fact he left her for Livvie. But if it were Livvie -- then maybe, quite possibly, everything she had ever told him was a complete lie.

But who was doing the lying? Everyone kept insisting that it was Livvie. But even if she had lied to him and their relationship was a sham, it didn't matter. It couldn't matter because now there was a baby involved in the equation. He was obligated to stay with Livvie because of that baby. There would be no way he could walk away from his own flesh and blood.

So, if that were the case why couldn't he just let this -thing- with Alison go? He couldn't be with her, no matter how much he longed to be. Could he? The only way he could be is if there was no baby. And Livvie wouldn't lie about a child, would she?

The door to the hotel room opened suddenly, bringing Rafe from his thoughts and his eyes zeroing in upon it. Within it's entrance stood Livvie, her face a bit pale and a shaky smile upon her lips. "Livvie," he called out. "Where have you been?"

Livvie swallowed and rubbed one of her hands up and down her arm. She needed a shower, desperately. She felt absolutely dirty and wanted to be rid of the feeling. "Out," she whispered as she came fully into the room and shut the door behind her.

~*~


	5. I want the truth

**__**

Always Alison

Disclaimer: Don't own them, don't claim to.

Rating: Somewhere between PG13 and R -- perhaps some language, adult content, adult situations

****

Chapter Five

__

The Hotel

"Just out?" Rafe questioned taking in his wife's ragged appearance. "You look as though you've seen a ghost." That him moving towards her and grasping her upper arms. "Are you alright? Is it the baby?"

Livvie shook her head in an attempt to reassure Rafe. "I am just fine, so is the baby. I just exhausted myself doing too much today," she lied easily. "I just want to take a shower and lay down for a while." Without another word, Livvie detached herself from Rafe's hold and moved toward the bathroom. When she reached the door she turned and looked at him. "Will you be here when I get out?"

"Of course," he answered quickly, then watched her shut the bathroom door. Something was definitely off here. She didn't look like she was all right. Maybe he should take her to the hospital and have her looked over. With the decision made, Rafe went to the bathroom door and knocked upon it. When no one answered, Rafe called out, "Livvie?"

She was still dressed and standing before the mirror looking at herself. "Yeah?" She returned.

"I was thinking maybe I should take you to the hospital -- you know, have a doctor look over you and see if the baby is okay. You really don't look so good."

That had Livvie paling even more. "Uh, no Rafe, but thank you for telling me how awful I look. Just what a wife wants to hear from her husband."

His lips twitched into a slightly amused grin. "You know that's not what I meant. I'd just feel better hearing from a doctor that you and the baby are okay."

Livvie's heart began to thud in her chest. "Don't believe me, Rafe? I'm just fine, really. I think I would know more than anyone about my body and how I feel."

__

And she would, Rafe thought silently. But there was just something in him that wouldn't let this go. He wanted to hear from a doctor that -- what? -- Livvie was pregnant? The thought shocked him. He had at one time thought that Livvie could be mistaken and there was no baby, but then she took that pregnancy test. A pregnancy test Alison told him she could have faked.

Laying his head against the bathroom door, Rafe's eyelids slipped shut as he pictured Alison's face the night she found out Livvie was pregnant. She looked as though he and Livvie had stole the very breath from her lungs and then kicked her until she bled. Amongst the slightly elated feeling he had been having at the idea of becoming a father, Rafe felt horrible at the pain that had been written in Alison's eyes. That image would now be forever locked in his brain and it would be something he would never forget.

The sound of the shower turning on brought Rafe from his thoughts and back to the matter at hand. He wanted to take Livvie to the hospital and have her checked out. They hadn't visited a doctor since Livvie realized she was pregnant and it high time they should. Just for his piece of mind.

Walking away from the bathroom door, Rafe headed over to the bed and lay down upon it. As he settled his head down against one of the pillows, he sighed heavily. There was so much going on inside of his head. It was as if he never stopped thinking or trying to remember or digesting information people told him. He was a highly intelligent man -- or at least he'd like to think of himself as one -- and there was just so much coming at him right now, it was hard to decipher the truth. People telling him that he and Livvie were never together, but Livvie assuring him that no one knew. Even his cousin -- his cousin said that he and Livvie were never together.

That has his blue eyes slipping to the bathroom door. Livvie had told him he had had no family. But there was Lucy -- a vibrant woman, so full of life. How could Livvie not have mentioned her? It would be understandable if Livvie didn't know Lucy or didn't know that she was his cousin, but it wasn't like that. Lucy was married to Livvie's father so there was no good reason why Livvie couldn't have told him. But this shouldn't be a surprise to him since there were a lot of things that didn't add up with Livvie's version of "their story".

The only question was what was he going to do about it? He wasn't about to start taking one person's word over his wife's. Okay it was more than one person, but Livvie was his wife and he had to trust her. But just trusting her word, which was shaky at best, wasn't good enough anymore. It was time he did a little researching into his life. Like finding out what exactly happened over the last ten years that he couldn't recall.

Rafe slowly sat up on the bed and began nodding his head. Yes, this sounded good. He knew about his entire existence from the moment he could recall memories to his life up until ten years ago. It was only these past ten years that he couldn't recall. So, what was the best way to discover it -- go back to the source? That would mean going back to Transylvannia. But could he get away with Livvie newly pregnant? He could always take her with him, but would she want to go? Did he want her to go?

When Livvie slipped out of the bathroom she had a prepared story all ready to tell Rafe about her behavior, but by the look on his face he was preoccupied with something else. She walked up to the bed and gazed down at him. He was very deep in thought and whatever he was thinking had his eyes lit up with something she had never seen before. Excitement or eagerness -- something. She had seen him happy and filled with joy, but this look was something different.

"Rafe, honey, what are you thinking about?"

The sound of Livvie's voice had his head snapping up into her direction. "I didn't hear you come out of the bathroom."

Her dark eyes roamed over his face as she sat down upon the bed beside him. "I saw that. Where were you lost at?"

"Lost?" He questioned, slightly confused but then it dawned upon him what she meant. "Oh! Well, I was thinking about the last ten years of my life."

  
What resembled fear mixed with a healthy dose of shock shuddered across Livvie's face. "You-you've been thinking about the past ten years? Does that mean you remember?"

His brow drew together and he grinned in that usual quirky way of his that relayed that he was confused. "Remember? No, I haven't remembered anything. If I had, you'd have been the first to know."

That had Livvie swallowing with great unease. "Why would you say it like that?"

"Say it like what?" Now he was really confused.

"That -I- would be the first to know if you remembered. I mean you sounded accusatory." Livvie then rose from the bed and began to wring her fingers together. She needed to reign in this sudden feeling coursing through her like she had just been caught red handed in her lies. But the fact of the matter was she hadn't been -- not yet anyway. And Rafe could remember anything he damn well please, but he had to wait until after she was pregnant, because once she was he would never leave. Which if she had anything to say about it -- it would be soon.

"I didn't mean to make it sound as though I was accusing you of anything," Rafe amended gently, his eyes following Livvie's endless pacing. "I just meant that if I remembered anything at all from my past you would be the first person I shared it with."

A small grin toyed with the corner of Livvie's mouth as she looked at Rafe again. "Oh," she breathed out. "Of course that's what you meant. I'm sorry I took it the way I did, I don't even know why I did. I think I'm just tired, it's been a really long day today and I think I'm grouchy."

Rafe stood from the bed and went to Livvie's side. "Would you like to lay down for a bit and get some rest?"

Her head shook with acceptance as she announced, "I think I just may. You going to lay down with me?"

He had too much on his mind to sleep right now. What he wanted to do at the moment was go research the past ten years of his life. "I, uh, am too buzzed with energy to lay down right now. But you go ahead and I'll just go sit over here on this chair and do some thinking."

As Livvie laid down upon the bed she frowned. "What are you going to think about? Surely you're not regretting marrying me and having this baby. Rafe, I thought we settled that already."

"We did and that's not what this is about." Well, not entirely.

"You're sure?"

Rafe walked over to the side of the bed, pulled the blankets up over Livvie and he smiled with what he hoped looked like reassurance. "I'm positive. Just close your eyes and get some rest. Don't worry about what's on my mind, because I'm not."

He wasn't sure how much time had passed, but when Livvie's breathing had evened out and it was apparent she was asleep, Rafe scribbled a note to tell his wife where he was heading and then left the hotel room. He wasn't exactly sure where he would start his search for his past, but he supposed he could start with his cousin Lucy. She could fill in some details for him, like how they met, when it was they met and what brought him to Port Charles.

****

Later…

__

The Lighthouse

Lucy stared at Rafe with her arms folded across her bare midriff, watching him carefully. "So, Cuz, not trusting anything your little woman tells you anymore?" The frown Rafe threw at her told her that she had crossed the line, which was fine by her. Lucy knew, heck, everyone knew, that Rafe belonged with Alison it was time he realized it.

"Okay, not that I don't like spending time with you, but what are you doing here?"

Rafe ran his hands through his unruly hair and sighed. "I need for you to fill in some blanks for me. Such as when we met, how it was that we met, and if you know what brought me here to Port Charles."

Her eyebrow lifted slightly. "Well," she drew out slowly, "it was in Transylvannia. You saved me from Caleb and making a long story short you informed me that we were cousins and were slayers." Lucy smiled at the memory and then chuckled softly. "It was quite an experience, I wish you could remember it. Then as for your coming to Port Charles, I'm sure you driven here to help us defeat Caleb."

Caleb. Rafe frowned, desperately trying to search his memory for the events Lucy talked about. But all he came up with was blackness. "I take it we defeated Caleb then?"

"Sure did. Livvie had a hand in that, of course she had a hand in everything that was evil around that time," Lucy muttered beneath her breath. "I'm surprised she hasn't told you about any of this."

"I guess she wants me to remember it on my own." His face then contorted into a frown of confusion. "Then again she's filled me in a lot of our past together, not much else."

Lucy drummed her fingers over her mouth, trying to keep herself from blurting out what a big fat liar Livvie was. But, as always, she couldn't help herself. "Did you ever stop to think about any of this Rafe? I mean really think about what you were doing after Livvie told you about you and her? When in fact there was never a 'you and her'!" Rafe opened his mouth to stop her, but Lucy hurried on. "Listen to me, Cuz, I only say this because I love you and you are my family. You really stepped in it this time. You took the word of some woman over the word of everyone else, and before anyone else could tell you she was fabricating a history for you -- you married the girl."

"She's my wife, Lucy," Rafe warned in a low voice. "Don't talk about her like that."

"Like what -- like what a liar she is?" She questioned as she moved about her living room. "Listen to me Rafe, please. Think about everything Livvie has told you since you woke up in that forest not remembering a thing. Then think about what everyone else has said to you, including Alison, Jack, Jamal and myself. And anyone else who knew you and Livvie."

Rafe bolted up off the couch he was sitting on and began moving toward the door. "I didn't come here for you to bad mouth my wife, Lucy. I came here for you to fill in gaps for me so I can find out about the last ten years of my life."

As Rafe's hand landed upon the doorknob, Lucy -- fighting against her better judgement -- opened her mouth and announced, "You won't find anything anywhere on the past ten years of you life -- because you weren't here." She watched her cousin turn around to face her, confusion written upon his face. "You weren't here," Lucy repeated softly.

"What do you mean I wasn't here? Here as in Port Charles?"

Both of her hands curled into fists and she bit her lower lip. She shouldn't be saying anything at all. He needed to remember his memories on his own and force feeding to him that he was an angel wasn't going to help him any at all. "No -- well, yes, you weren't here in Port Charles. Rafe think, really -think-, about the last thing you remember. Think about what you were doing. Think of whom you were with. What you were doing with the last ten years of your life lies within remembering that time."

Rafe looked at Lucy for a minute then came to stand before her, eyeing her suspiciously. "Quit speaking in riddles and just tell me what you know, Lucy, because it sounds like you know where I was and what I was doing the past ten years."

Lucy nodded her head and swallowed. "I know what you were doing. Alison knows what you were doing. I'm pretty sure Livvie knows. But only the three of know where you were and what you were doing, and you'll be hard pressed to get any one of us to tell you."

~*~

TO Be Continued…


	6. You Can't Handle the Truth

****

Chapter Six

__

Elsewhere

James' hand flew toward the screen as he pointed at it. "Cheating! You're cheating Edward."

That resulted in a chuckle from the man standing beside him. "Cheating? How is Lucy trying to fill in her family member cheating?"

Angrily James regarded Ed and frowned heavily. "I'm not quite sure, Edward, but I believe that you have cheated. You have somehow interfered and that results in my taking your soul as well as your son's."

The humor upon his face slipped away quickly as he turned to fully face James. "I have done no such thing and you know it as well as I do." A smirk lit up his lips as he continued with, "You're just afraid that once Lucy sparks Rafe's memory or proves to him that Livvie is a liar and a fraud Alison and Rafe will reunite."

"Fear, Edward, is for weak men," James informed his counterpart hotly.

"Last I looked, James, you were far from a man, haven't been for a while. A lifeless capsule that carries around an evil soul is a far cry from one."

A smile curled James' mouth as he laughed. "My point exactly, Edward. My point exactly. Simple men fear, we--" he paused to think of the right word to describe himself "--exceptional beings don't. I'll let your intervention on your son's behalf slip this time. Next time you won't be so lucky."

Ed gave a wild roll to his eyes. "Why thank you for the reprieve James."

****

Meanwhile…

__

The Lighthouse

Anger was glittering in Rafe's eyes as he looked upon his cousin. "Why won't you or Alison for that matter tell me about my past?"

Lucy's head tipped softly to the side and a single eyebrow inched upward at the tone in Rafe's voice. "Do you want the truth?"

"It would be nice."

"Because, Rafe," Lucy snapped angrily, "no one wants to force feed you memories you don't remember. Livvie's done enough of that for everyone. Besides, remembering your past on your own is something monumen-"

Rafe's head began shaking as he interrupted Lucy with, "No, no. She filled me in on past together, told me how it was between us -- between Alison and me that is. She just wouldn't tell me about -me-."

A slight, saddened frown tugged at Lucy's lips. "And can you honestly say you would have believed her if she had told you? She's been telling you, everyone has been telling you, about your relationship with her and you won't believe anyone but Livvie." She watched her cousin's eyes fall from hers as she confronted him with the truth of the matter. "If she had said, 'Rafe, you were a vampire slayer,' would you have believed her?"

That had him looking up sharply at Lucy. "Yes, because I know that is true. I can remember that part of my life."

Slowly nodding, Lucy added, "Okay, well then would you have believed her if she had said, 'Rafe, you're dead'?" She knew she shouldn't have said it, she regretted saying it, and she knew she would catch heat for telling him. But by the strange look crossing Rafe's face, he didn't believe a word of it.

"Are you saying I'm dead?" He chuckled out and then smiled. "That I'm some holy apparition floating around Port Charles."

Lucy swallowed and crossed her arms beneath her chest. "Holy, yes. Apparition, no. You are very much flesh and blood."

Rafe raised his hands near his head and extended his fingers as far as they would go as he asked, "What are you talking about? Lucy this little exploration into 'what ifs' and death has taken a strange turn and I'd like to get back on the main road if you don't mind."

She knew he would have a hard time accepting it. Lucy knew she had a hard time when she first heard the news from Alison that Rafe was dead, let alone an angel. It was a lot of information to swallow when it came flying at you. But he wanted the truth and she was giving it to him, well without really giving it to him.

Exhaling a breath, Lucy stepped a little bit closer to her cousin and grinned sympathetically. "Rafe, if there is one thing the universe and Port Charles has taught me is that anything can and usually will happen. So, don't push away unbelievable theories or strange coincidences because they are just that. Besides, I don't believe in coincidences and the things that have happened around here lately have taught me not to think things are unbelievable."

His blue eyes were locked upon Lucy's face as he began to shake his head. "Are you really asking me to believe that I'm dead?" When Rafe saw that Lucy wasn't about to laugh and tell him that she was joking, he sighed. "How can I be dead, Lucy? You tell me that I'm not a ghost, so if I'm dead than how could I be standing here with you having this conversation?"

"It's easy, Rafe. It's because you're an-"

"Lucy, what do you think you're doing?" Asked a new voice.

Both Lucy and Rafe turned to find Livvie standing in the entranceway to the living room. Annoyance flittered across Lucy's face as she looked upon her step-daughter. "I'm simply doing something you should have done long before now -- telling Rafe the truth."

Her face remained an impassive canvass as Livvie walked toward her husband and Lucy. "I'm not sure what you're talking about. I have been nothing but honest with Rafe."

The laughter that bubbled up Lucy's throat was anything but humorous. "Right," she murmured slowly and then glanced at her cousin. "Rafe came to me for some truth to his past -- you know the time in his life that he can't remember. I was just about to tell Rafe where he has been or should I leave that honor up to you?" Before Livvie had the chance to answer, Lucy lifted a hand to her chin and thoughtfully wondered aloud, "But then again I'd have to trust in the fact that you'd actually be honest with Rafe. And we all know that you-"

"Enough Lucy," Rafe cut in, anger prevalent in his voice. His eyes then met with Livvie's dark ones and asked, "So do you want to tell me about my past? Or should I have Lucy fill me in?"

Livvie looked from Rafe to her father's wife, an emotion glittering in her eyes that spoke of her anger at what Lucy had done. Or had been about to do. "Rafe, I really think you should remember-"

"See, that's my problem Livvie," he interrupted, his eyes lowering into a thoughtful scowl as his hands moved before him to emphasize his point. "I can't remember. I've trusted you to fill me in on my past and you have -- our past. Then there is Alison who has told me about our relationship together when I asked her, but when I ask her about myself, she refuses to answer on this principle that she'd like me to remember on my own. And Lucy was somewhat reluctant to tell me, but now she seems ready to fill me in on where it is that I have been."

Her heart was beginning to pound heavily in her chest. Rafe was going to back her into a corner and make her tell him where he has been and what he was doing. She couldn't very well lie about it because Lucy was standing right there ready to fill in Rafe with the absolute truth. Damn it. Why did everyone have to interfere with her relationship with Rafe? Why couldn't they all just leave them alone?

Lucy noticed the sudden fear creeping into Livvie's eyes and couldn't help the grin. It was strange. She knew Livvie was a troubled girl and she needed help, and at one time she had been very close to Kevin's daughter, but there was just some kind of joy in watching her squirm. Now she knew what people must have been feeling when they outed her on her lies way back in the day when she stooped down to Livvie's level.

But if Rafe allowed Livvie to tell him about his being an angel, she could put some strange spin on the story. Rafe needed to learn the truth from a reliable source, someone that wouldn't lie to him. And that someone should be…

"Uh, Rafe," Lucy began in a casual tone. "Maybe you should let me help you fill yourself in on your past." That had both Rafe and Livvie turning to look at her.

Rafe's brow drew together as he asked, "What do you mean help me help myself remember?"

"Yeah, see I was just thinking about this whole situation and this is what I came up with. You remember that you are a vampire slayer, you know your life up until a point of ten years ago, right? But either you refuse to remember the very moment up until you can't remember or you have blocked it out." Lucy smiled widely as she tucked her hands behind her back. "So, I had a wild idea that you should let Doc put you under hypnosis."

Livvie's eyes widened, as Rafe's face became thoughtful. "Hypnosis?" They both asked at the same time.

"Yeah. Doc could hypnotize you and he could help you remember what you can't. That way no one, Alison and I in particular, will be breaking a vow to not tell you about your past, and you can recall it on your own. The whole -truth- of your past in your own words and memories. What do you think?"

For the first time since waking up in the woods, Rafe actually began to feel a little bit of hope in regaining his memories. "I think it sounds perfect."

"Rafe, honey, I really think you should think this over before you hop right into this. Hypnosis can be more hurtful than helpful," Livvie pleaded.

Lucy tried to help herself from smiling, but she couldn't quite stop. "Livvie," she said in that low, sultry voice of hers, "if I didn't know any better, it sounded like you didn't want Rafe to regain his memories."

Glaring at her father's wife, Livvie snarled, "That isn't what I said Lucy."

"You sure, because that's how it sounded."

Crossing her arms before her, Livvie sweetly replied, "Well it wasn't."

"Good," Lucy began as she clapped her hands before her. "It's settled then. Rafe will see Doc to get hypnotized to see if that will help him regain his memories. That is if you are interested, Rafe."

His eyes kept moving from his wife to his cousin's face as they went at it back and forth. It had seemed odd that Livvie would warn him about hypnosis. And not that she gave him a real warning, but more like she wanted to put the kabosh on it because she feared what he might remember. That had Rafe really looking at Livvie then.

Was she afraid of what he might remember? What would make her fear him regaining his memories? Then it hit him. If he regained his memories, he might discover that everything she had ever told him was a lie. That everything everyone had said about her was the truth. That he was really supposed to be with Alison.

Rafe's body suddenly vibrated with an emotion at the thought of his life actually being spent with Alison. But the emotion didn't have a clear name, it was like it was a grouping of emotions. Anger at being lied at. Fear that he had lost Alison because he believed Livvie. And sheer joy that Alison was whom he was supposed to be with.

He wanted to know if this was how it was supposed to be. He wanted to discover the truth.

"Rafe?" Lucy questioned as she laid a hand upon his arm. When he looked at her, she asked, "Shall I call Doc?"

Giving one final look towards Livvie, Rafe turned his eyes to his cousin's face as he answered, "Yes. I want to remember my past."

~*~

to be continued…


	7. The Spin Cycle

****

Chapter Seven

Alison slid the wet dishtowel along the surface of the table to remove the specks of food the last customer left behind. As she cleaned her blue eyes kept a watchful lookout toward the door of the Recovery Room and to the people she had sitting at the tables. She hadn't intended doing anything tonight other than think of a plan to expose Livvie, but when Mary had called asking for help Alison couldn't turn her down.

But all was not lost. The clientele was unexpectedly, and thankfully, slow this evening, which gave her time to consider her options. Sadly, there wasn't that many. There wasn't a way she could demand Livvie take a pregnancy test to prove that she was pregnant nor was it any easier proving that every syllable Livvie spoke was a lie. This was actually harder than she imagined it would be. Not that she had any reason to believe it was going to be easy, just not this hard.

The sound of the door opening had Alison looking toward it. Kevin Collins stood in the entryway and smiled at her. At least Livvie hadn't ruined her relationship with Kevin, but that was only a matter or time, right?

"Dr. Collins," Alison called out, "what can I do for you tonight?"

Kevin ambled in a bit further, a little bit hesitant. He and Alison had never sat down and discussed anything that happened during his disappearance or the events leading up to it. He had wanted to, but before he could he was blasted with the information that Livvie and Rafe were married. Kevin knew his daughter was an adult and she had to live her life her own way, but he also knew that his daughter was in deep this time. He didn't know what Livvie was up to with Rafe or the reasons behind her fashioning this story of her and Rafe being in love while he was Alison and she with Jack. None of it made sense, but Kevin was going to support her. Livvie needed to know that there was someone out there that loved her no matter what.

"Well, Alison," Kevin began as he came to stand before her. "I dropped in to speak with Victor, but seeing you here reminded me that we need to talk."

There was just something about the tone of his voice that had Alison shaking her head slightly. "If this is about Livvie and Rafe-"

"It's not," he interrupted in a rushed voice. "It's about Rebecca and the candle shop." When Kevin saw that he had Alison's complete attention, he continued on. "I wanted to apologize for my part in that whole disaster. I know I should have believed you when you said you did nothing to those candles."

Alison walked over to the counter and leaned of her arms against it as she regarded Kevin. "Your apology is accepted, Kevin. And I didn't do anything to those candles-"

"I believe you."

"But Livvie did." Alison saw the protective father look appearing in Kevin's eyes, which caused her to add, "Kevin, Livvie did a lot of things while you were gone. I'm sure Lucy told you and Livvie lied her way out of it."

Kevin swallowed down the angry father retort and opted for, "I know Livvie has been a little different lately-"

Alison's eyes widened as she nearly laughed. "A little? Kevin, how can you say that? I mean I know Livvie is your daughter, but you can't ignore all the lies she's been telling lately. She's wrecking lives, mine in particular."

A frown marred Kevin's brow as he listened to Alison. "I know this is about Rafe and I know I don't have the full story, but Alison you have to understand that I am going to support my daughter. If Rafe makes her happy, then I'm happy for her."

She didn't realize her head was shaking until after she snapped, "You know, Kevin, I think you coming to speak to me was a bad idea. And I know Livvie is your daughter and family always has an allegiance to one another, but Rafe was my family. I know I have Nana and I have my friends, but Rafe was apart of me -- he was the one person I could like count on no matter what. He made me feel whole, and he made me feel like if anything happened around us it would be okay just as long as we had each other."

Sympathy filled Kevin's eyes as he murmured, "I'm sorry."

Alison ignored his second apology and tried to sniff back the sudden tears forming her in eyes. "Your daughter stole my sense of family from me because she thought I killed you. Revenge for the death of her father -- who turned out to not be dead after all. Things only got worse when everyone believed me and no one believed her. So she took advantage of Rafe just so she could hurt me and she did."

Inhaling a calming breath, Alison silently regarded Kevin a moment so she could compose herself. When she thought she had control over herself again, Alison released her pent-up breath and murmured, "You maybe Livvie's father, which by extension has you protective of her, but make no mistake Kevin. I will fight to get Rafe back and expose Livvie for the liar she is. I'm sorry if that hurts you, but all if fair in love and war -- and this is war with Livvie."

Kevin was about to give his peace of mind of the subject when his cell phone began to ring. "Excuse me," he muttered and stepped a few feet away as he pulled out his phone. "Kevin Collins," he said as a way of greeting.

"Doc, it's Lucy," the voice on the opposite side of the line announced. "I need you to come to the Lighthouse right away."

That had his brow pulling together. "Has something happened?"

"No. Well, yes."

"Well, which is it?" He asked as his gaze slid towards Alison who was wiping down more tables.

"Both really. Something has happened, but nothing you should worry about. Rafe wants to be hypnotized to see if he can recall some of his past memories."

Kevin nodded his head, even though Lucy couldn't see him doing it. "Well, if this is what he wants to do, I will be right there." They said their good-byes and Kevin shut the phone off and replaced it inside of his pants pocket.

"Look, Alison," Kevin began as he walked back over to her, "I don't want to make it seem like I'm putting my head into the sand and am ignoring all that is going on, because I know this whole situation isn't what it seems. But with that said Livvie is my daughter and she needs someone in her corner -- she needs her father. I want to see her happy."

She had had her back to Kevin as he spoke, but when he finished Alison slowly turned around to face him. "Don't think I don't understand, Kevin, because I do. I'm just not sympathetic to Livvie's plight. It's not like someone else placed her in this precarious situation where no one believes her. The fact is no one believes her because she has done nothing but lie to Rafe and everyone else since the whole candle thing began. I know you want Livvie to be happy, but when Rafe remembers everything, she'll be the unhappiest woman in the world."

Without another word, Kevin bid Alison goodnight with the tilt of his head and he was off to the Lighthouse. Alison watched him go and shook her head. Livvie didn't deserve to have Kevin as a father. The man would be beside her through thick and thin and she only used him and played on his sympathy for missing out on a huge portion of her life. What Alison wouldn't give to have at least one caring parent on her side.

The door the Recovery Room opened and Jack walked in. His eyes were alight with happiness as was the smile gracing his lips. "Alison, you won't believe the news I have!"

"Livvie's been discovered as the lying witch she is?"

Jack slid up to the counter and sat down upon the stool as he watched Alison move to the opposite side of bar. "Close. I think we're going to be nailing Livvie in no time."

Alison absently wiped the countertop as she listened to Jack. "Why would you say that?"

"I talked to Lucy today. She has a private investigator tailing Livvie."

Her eyes widened. "For how long?"

"Not sure. But the guy was definitely tailing Livvie today. Lucy thinks that Livvie will go to a sperm donor to get knocked up instead of some random guy. And if she did-"

"There will be pictures…" Alison whispered out.

Jack held up a finger and said, "Right. Proof that Livvie is indeed a liar. This should prove to Rafe and anyone else that she's not really pregnant. Maybe then Rafe will get a clue and leave Livvie."

"Jack!" Alison squealed and reached across the counter and hugged him tightly. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!"

As he untangled himself, he chuckled out, "Don't thank me, thank Lucy. She's the one that did the hiring."

"I will," she beamed excitedly. "As soon as my shift is over, I will head over to the Collins' and thank Lucy in person."

"Why wait?" Jack asked as he stood from his seat. "I'll finish the rest of your shift for you and you can go see Lucy now."

"Oh, Jack, you mean it?"

He nodded his head. "Sure, what are best friends for?"

Alison rushed around the counter, while untying her apron and then threw her arms around Jack. "You are the best friend ever. I owe you big time, Jack." When she finished hugging him, Alison fled the Recovery Room as quickly as she could to head on over to the Lighthouse.

****

Meanwhile

__

Elsewhere…

Ed clapped his hands together once before he began to rub them together. "Oh, this is perfect. Just perfect. Alison will arrive just in time to watch Rafe be hypnotized, Livvie will be there to learn that Lucy has had her followed, and I have not lifted a finger to make any of this happen."

James sneered at his counterpart and glared at the screen. "It's not over yet, Edward. Rafe must first regain his memories of being an angel and his connection to Alison. Just because the good doctor Collins is on the scene now, doesn't mean your son will recall a single memory."

"Faith," Ed announced on a sigh. "It is what you and your following lack. It was has gotten most humans and higher beings through whatever troubles they were swimming in."

That had James looking towards Ed. "I guess your son had a deficiency in this quality you so proudly boast about. If your son had faith he would have never traded his soul to me just to be with his sweet Alison again."

"You play on a man or woman's weakness, James. You exploit their very desire and then you use it against them to get what you want."

James tipped his head to the side. "Why, Edward, isn't that what your faith does? Someone believes so strongly in something that they put their trust into a simple word, hoping that this thing will give them what they want. I simply make good on the wants and needs of men, women, children, and yes, even angels. What you goody-goodys peddle is the very essence of what I do. You spout off the belief that if you lead a good life than God will reward you with ever lasting life in the clouds. I, however, grant you what you, when you want it and the only price I ask for is the reward of your soul."

Ed frowned at James as he snapped, "Don't compare your ministry of evil to that of God's. They are nothing alike."

His chuckle filled the void between them. "They are very much alike, it's how you put the spin on the rules and regulations that make them different."

~*~

To be continued…


	8. He's a Hyp Guy

****

Chapter Eight

__

Lighthouse

"Now I want you to close your eyes, take a deep breath, and as you exhale just feel your body relax," Kevin instructed Rafe. His eyes danced over his son-in-law's body as Rafe lay on the bed in his and Lucy's room, noting the way he had his hands folded on top of his stomach and his brow pinched together. "Just clear your mind of all thoughts-"

Rafe uncrossed one ankle from the other and then re-crossed it, let out a huge sigh, and then threw one forearm over his forehead as he groaned, "I don't think this is going to work, Dr. Collins."

"Well, it won't unless you follow my instructions to the T, Rafe. You just have to allow yourself to relax fully, listen to the sound of my voice, and rid your mind of any other thoughts." As Kevin tucked his hands behind his back, he inhaled a slow breath and then urged, "Let's start again."

****

Meanwhile…

Livvie cast a nervous glance up toward the ceiling and then groaned as she flew off the couch she was sitting on. "What do you think is going on up there?"

Lucy smirked as she casually leaned back in her chair. "My guess, Livvie, is your father is helping Rafe discover the full truth about his past. You know the past that is free from your lies."

Her eyes narrowed into a brief glare before Livvie looked at the stairs. "I haven't lied about my past with Rafe."

"Of course you have," Lucy replied simply. "If you hadn't you wouldn't be wearing down a path in my carpet. You would have supported Rafe immediately when I suggested hypnosis. You'd have immediately let Rafe's family and friends know he was back the moment he returned." Lucy slowly rose from her chair and moved over to where Livvie stood near the stairs. "When did you become so hurtful and vindictive?"

Livvie kept her eyes averted from Lucy, as she remarked, "I haven't the slightest idea of what you mean."

Shaking her head slowly, Lucy let her eyes rove over her stepdaughter. "Somewhere along the road you changed from that sweet girl I took in and became this person before me."

"Oh, what do you know?" Livvie questioned as she whirled about to fully face Lucy. "You read tarot cards, believe the universe talks to you, and that you have some psychic connection to anything that emits a pulse." Anger surged through her as she gave into the annoyance she buried over having Lucy dog her every footstep since she announced she and Rafe were married. "You and Alison both believe and act upon this well intentioned goodness that you think will give back what you put out."

"Are you saying you don't?"

Livvie placed a hand upon the stairwell and looked up the steps leading toward where her husband was being hypnotized. "I believe in action. I believe in reaching out and grabbing what you want-"

"And taking things that don't belong to you," Lucy interrupted in an even voice. She crossed her arms beneath her chest and watched Livvie. "You're a spoiled little girl, Livvie, that's all you are. You play on your father's guilt of not being there for you when you were young. And when you aren't manipulating him into feeling badly for you, you stomp your feet and throw tantrums when things don't go your way."

Inhaling a calming breath, her temper getting somewhat the best of her, Lucy let her words sit in the air a moment hoping that they would have an effect on Livvie. "I may believe in the universe, things that aren't certain and things that most people don't, but I know one thing that is for sure. Lies always come back to haunt you. Lies always have a way of being exposed. And Livvie -- your lies are about to be discovered," she announced and then pointed towards the ceiling.

****

Outside…

Alison rubbed her hands together while she tried to contain the giddiness that flowed through her as she stared at the Lighthouse door. Since Jack had told her Lucy hired a private investigator she had been floating about on cloud nine. It had been a long time since she had been able to feel this light and free. Not since being with Rafe had she known this kind of happiness. It was almost as though everything was now in reach, like things were going to start to return to normal once again.

Lifting her hand away from herself, Alison reached out and knocked upon the door before her. It took longer than normal for someone to answer the door, which made Alison think that there was no one home. That was until the object before her swung open and Livvie was standing there staring at her as though she were the cause of world hunger. The woman who had once been her best friend and now was her enemy sat reclined in the doorway, with the door partially closed behind her.

"Livvie," Alison greeted in a cool voice and then gazed passed her shoulder. "Lucy home?"

Her eyelids narrowed slightly as she answered, "We're slightly busy at the moment. So if you don't mind going away-"

The door flew open and Lucy stood behind Livvie, and smiled warmly at Alison after shooting Livvie an annoyed look. "Come on in, Alison. What brings you by? Actually, I'm glad you're here. I have some wonderful news for you."

Alison looked between Lucy and Livvie, and then slid passed the latter to come to stand indoors. "News?" She questioned carefully, not sure what it was that Lucy was about to share with her. "What about?"

Lucy cleared her throat and grinned like the bird that had finally swallowed the canary. She then took Alison by the shoulders and guided her towards the couch. When both were seated she announced, "Doc is upstairs with Rafe right now."

That had Alison's eyes widening. "Is something wrong with him?"

Her head shook briefly and then she cast Livvie a quick glance. "Nope, not in the least. Doc is hypnotizing Rafe to see if he can recall his memories."

"Oh, my God," Alison breathed out from her hands that she pressed against her mouth. "Do you think it will work?"

Livvie sighed with annoyance at having Alison occupy the same space as her. Could she not have a day when she wasn't free from the sweet, innocent Alison whom everybody loves? Did she have to worm her way into every situation that didn't involve her?

"No, Alison, I don't think it's going to work," Livvie piped in before Lucy could answer. "I think this is just a waste of my husband's time, as well as my father's. Everyone should just accept that Rafe won't get his memory back and move on with creating new memories for him."

Both Alison and Lucy turned to look at Livvie as she spoke from her position by the stairs, but it was Lucy who spoke up. "You had better pray Rafe not regain his memories, Livvie. Because once he does he will expose you for the liar and schemer that you are and will leave you in a heartbeat for Alison."

As she slipped a hand to her stomach, Livvie bit back, "Rafe wouldn't leave me or our child."

Lucy snickered softly before a soft laughter bubbled up her throat. "'Our child' … what a joke. Livvie you are no more pregnant than I am and I intend to prove as such."

That had Livvie slinking away from the stairs and toward Lucy. "What would my father think about this attack upon his daughter? That you repeatedly call me a liar and are out to get me?"

"I would be more concerned about what your father will think of you when he learns the truth about you. I hate to see him hurt, but I refuse to have him hurt any further by you or anyone. And there is no mistaking that Kevin will be and he'll feel betrayed by the outcome of this entire situation."

Lucy stood up from the couch and took a few steps so she was face-to-face with Livvie. Looking the woman square in the eyes, she asked, "And what do you think will hurt him more: a wife who did everything she could to stop his daughter from hurting him further or a daughter who manipulated him endlessly to get him to keep his faith in her?"

****

Upstairs…

Kevin sat comfortably in a chair near his bed, which Rafe lay upon, and watched his son-in-law. It had taken some doing, but he was finally to a point where he was relaxed enough to be open to suggestions or helpfully guided through lost memories. After folding his hands into his lap, Kevin sat up a bit straighter and thought over the questions he had in mind to ask Rafe. There were so many he personally had, but this quest for answers wasn't for him, but for the man before him.

"Alright, Rafe, I instructed you to go to a place you find safe. Do you have that place?"

"Yes," he answered simply.

"Good," Kevin murmured softly. "Can you tell me about it?"

There was a slight pause in the room, as if Rafe had fallen asleep instead of trying to find the words to describe where he was in his thoughts. But the lapse in talking was only brief because Rafe opened his mouth and began speaking.

"It's warm and happy. I feel safe here, completed. I know that if I were ever troubled I could come here and feel all right again. Mostly -- I feel loved."

Kevin nodded his head, as though Rafe could see it, and made some notes upon the tablet he had brought with him upstairs. Once things were recorded, he absently asked, "What else can you tell me about this place? Any sights, smells or colors?"

The corners of Rafe's mouth curled upward as he relayed, "Candles. Burning candles permeate the air and it's almost as comforting as the atmosphere. I see benches -- no, pews that all face the altar."

"Are you in a church?" When his son-in-law nodded, Kevin made a note of it upon his tablet and then tapped the eraser against the sheet of paper. "Why is it that you feel safest in a church?" Kevin knew he should be directing Rafe towards the memories he couldn't reclaim, but this intrigued him.

His brow drifted together as he answered, "It brings me closer to God. Some put their faith in weapons to keep them safe from harm, I put mine into the Man above because I know he would never lead me astray."

Kevin's pencil stilled upon the tablet as he instructed, "Now, Rafe, imagine you are outside of the church. It's a warm day, the sun is shining, the birds are out in force, and you are having a wonderful time. You find yourself feeling as safe as you do in the church, not because of where you are, but who you are with. You feel them take your hand and you look toward them -- who is it that you see?"

In his mind's eye Rafe drew the picture Kevin's words had painted for him, and he found himself looking towards the person next to him in this little dream world he had created. Right off he couldn't see their face, for the bright light of what could only be the sun was shining behind them blocking it out. But it didn't unsettle him that he could see who he was with, because he knew he was safe with -- her.

"An angel," Rafe answered Kevin finally, his voice filled with happiness.

That had Kevin frowning slightly. "You see an angel?"

"My angel."

~*~


	9. The Sign

****

Chapter Nine

Her blue eyes followed her once best friend as she paced the room, radiating nervousness like a heater would heat. Alison suppressed her smile at the unease Livvie was feeling. She knew she shouldn't be enjoying someone else's plight, but she couldn't help it -- Livvie had done so many evil things it was hard not to root for her destruction. Especially when Alison had set her mind to bringing the woman down herself.

"So, Lucy," Alison began conversationally, after the silence that followed Lucy's question to Livvie. "Jack told me some great news, I suppose that's why I'm here."

Narrowed eyes zeroed in on the blonde woman. "I was wondering why you were here. I'm beginning to think you and Jack are stalking my husband and myself."

Alison snickered briefly as she regarded Livvie from her position on the couch. "Jack and I stalking you should be like the least of your worries." Rising from her seat, Alison moved to stand next to Lucy on the other side of the room. When the two were in intimate proximity of each other, Alison murmured in a low voice, "Jack told me about the private investigator."

As if Lucy had forgotten what she had done, her face light up with surprise and then she gasped. Alison laughed softly and felt the urge to wrap her arms around the woman before her. "I just wanted to come here and thank you for doing this for me -- well, for Rafe anyway."

She tipped her head off to the side as she smiled happily, yet with a tinge of sadness. "I did it for the both of you, as well as Doc. Nothing or no one should stand in the way of love. I honestly care about Livvie and I know she's heading for trouble and I'm not sure how to help her. I think once she's exposed then perhaps the healing process can begin with her and she could start over. You know, find someone who can love her like she needs."

Alison gazed toward Livvie, her face clear of any emotion. "I hope she finds someone too and then get the help she deserves. Either option in no particular order." That had Alison looking back at Lucy. "We all need to pay for the trouble we've caused and the pain we've inflicted, and it's high time Livvie get what is coming to her."

Lucy crossed her arms beneath her chest and sighed as she regarded her stepdaughter. "I just hope this doesn't hurt Doc so much. He's put so much faith into Livvie…"

Lifting a hand towards Lucy, Alison then laid it upon her arm as she grinned. "Kevin will survive, he has you to help him through it all."

"Just as Rafe will have you."

Her eyes traveled towards the ceiling as murmured, "I only pray that Kevin helps Rafe with his memory. Just think this could all be over soon. The pain, the hurt, the lies and deception."

Lucy covered Alison's hand with her own and then squeezed it softly. "I hope so, Alison. I really hope this ends today."

Livvie watched the two women speaking for the longest time, wondering what the hell they were muttering to each other so quietly. They had to be plotting against her, why else would they keep looking at her every once in a while and keep talking? This had to stop, she had to put an end to them trying to ruin her happiness with Rafe.

"Don't you think you should leave, Ali?" Livvie asked and then began to approach Alison and Lucy. When both women turned to look at her curiously, she shrugged her shoulders. "I mean after all this is a family matter and last time I checked you weren't family."

That had Lucy's back stiffening and her shoulders squaring off. "And last I looked this was my house and Alison was a guest in it."

Alison looked between Livvie and Lucy and sighed softly. "No, she's right, Lucy. This does involve family and I'm not apart of this -- family. I've had my say in all of this and I'm sure you'll let me know what happens."

Lucy frowned momentarily, her eyes pleading with Alison to stay and then turned angry when she looked toward Livvie. "If you feel you must go, Alison. But don't worry I _will_ fill you in on what happened. Though I'm sure if this turns out like I think, Rafe will tell you himself."

"Thanks Lucy," Alison said as she squeezed Lucy's hand and then began to back her way toward the door.

****

Upstairs…

Rafe pushed himself up into a sitting position and took in his surroundings for a moment, letting things just sink in. Not that there was much that had to be processed, because he didn't remember a damn thing. His blue eyes fell into Kevin's direction, who was still making notes upon his tablet.

"Well, Dr. Collins?" Rafe questioned when the silence continued to stretch out between them. "Did I say anything? Because I certainly don't feel like I remember anymore now than when I woke up in the woods."

Kevin continued to look upon the notes he had taken and lifted his hand to his head to scratch the back of his neck. "From what I could decipher from all that was said, you weren't able to recall anything." Kevin glanced up then in time to see the slightly fallen look upon Rafe's face. "I'm sorry, Rafe. We could always try this again if you like-"

Rafe shook his head and sighed heavily. "Thanks, but no thanks Dr. Collins. It was a long shot anyway to learn anything. I -- I guess I'm just going to have to just learn to live my life without any past memories. Besides I have new memories to make with my child, right?"

He nodded slowly and looked down at the paper before him. "Right. Just focus upon that and things should be fine." Kevin then watched as Rafe slid off the bed and moved to the door of the room. He suddenly turned back toward Kevin as if he had something to say, but snapped his mouth shut and went out the door.

Kevin briefly wondered what Rafe was going to say but decided against. But the intrigue of that lasted only a few moments before the tablet in his lap claimed his eyes once again. There was definitely going to be some studying of the information he had gained from the session before he released it to anyone, most of all to Rafe.

Once outside of Kevin's bedroom, Rafe paused to lean back against the door. He had hoped the hypnosis would help him rediscover some of his memory. He wouldn't have cared how little the memory was, just as long as it was something from the past he didn't recall.

With a soft sigh, Rafe then pushed away from the door and made his way down the hall. As he came upon the stairs he heard several voices and it was one in particular had him pausing to listen closely.

__

"No, she's right, Lucy. This does involve family and I'm not apart of this -- family. I've had my say in all of this and I'm sure you'll let me know what happens."

"If you feel you must go, Alison…"

Alison!

Rafe's heart sprung into his throat and began to pound wildly as he found himself taking the stairs two at a time to get down them. But when he reached the floor level all he found were Livvie and Lucy both staring at him with different emotions in their eyes. His own eyes shot from his cousin, to his wife, and then to the door of the Lighthouse.

"Don't keep us in suspense," Lucy breathed out as she moved toward Rafe, who was still standing at the bottom of the stairs. "What did you remember?"

Livvie shoved down her nervousness and pasted on what she hoped was a pleasant grin. "Yes, honey, tell us what you remember."

Instead of answering them, Rafe lifted his left hand and pointed his forefinger at the door. "Didn't -- didn't I just hear someone else in here with you?"

A single eyebrow inched upward as Lucy grinned. "Yes, you did, Cuz. Alison was here."

That had Rafe's blue eyes snapping toward his cousin. "Was?"

"She left because someone made it clear that she wasn't wanted here … well, by that person anyway."

Livvie's dark eyes flared with anger as she snapped, "Oh, Lucy, I was perfectly friendly with Alison. I just suggested that perhaps she should leave our family matters to us." Putting aside any further thought that dealt with Alison, Livvie then made her way over to Rafe's side and curled her arms about his waist. "You never did answer the question."

His brow pinched together as he looked down at his wife. "Question? What question?" He didn't want to be answering questions. What he wanted was to find Alison, even though he knew he shouldn't want anything to do with her. He knew that he should keep his distance, that her not being here was for the best, but he couldn't help the way he felt.

"Did you remember anything," Livvie reminded him in an insistent tone.

Rafe gazed towards the doors that let led out on to the terrace and longed to be on the other side of them getting some fresh air. "Nothing," he answered in an absent voice. "I -- I remembered nothing. Excuse me." Rafe then disengaged his wife's hold upon him and made his way outside through the terrace doors.

Once there, he walked over to the railing and laid his hands upon it while he gazed out upon the impending fall of night. At the east end of the sky the body of endless blue began its descent into a deeper shade as darkness began to stretch its arms across it, like it were finally awaking from it's slumber. While into the west splatters of orange, reds, and pinks hovered as close as it could to the sun it sank into the horizon as if it feared the full moon glowing to life.

Rafe lost himself in the beauty before him, his problems seeming so tiny in comparison the large production God had put on for the whole world to see. "Thank you," he said suddenly looking up towards the middle of the sky. "Thank you for allowing me to see this and granting me the opportunity to hopefully see many more like it. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own lives, our problems, and ourselves that we just forget what a gift it is to just be here."

His hands slipped off the railing and then disappeared into the front pockets of his jeans. "I get the feeling that at one time I had taken this all for granted." Rafe's eyebrows drew together as he thought about everything and nothing at all. "But now I realize how precious it is to stand here breathing the air, feeling the warmth of the day against my skin, knowing what it's like to be loved and to love."

He paused suddenly and swallowed as he looked toward his feet as he gave the railing a soft kick. "I don't mean to seem ungrateful--" Rafe's eyes shot towards the sky again as he quickly added "--because I'm not. I would just like recall my memories. I want to know what I've been doing these past ten years. I mean maybe it's your plan that I not know so I will accept the gifts that I have -- a wife and a baby on the way -- and be grateful for them."

Rafe's hands came out of his pants and attached to the railing once again as he murmured, "I just want to know why I can't seem to let this go. _This_ being the need to reclaim my memories. _This_ being the never-ending need to be around Alison. More the latter than the former. I just wish you'd give me a sign of what I'm supposed to do. Should I move on with my life, without my memories, and be with my wife and child? Or quit ignoring this pull to Alison, which goes against every thing I believe in like honor and duty."

His heavy sigh filled the air as he asked, "What do I do?"

"Rafe?"

The soft call of his name had him whirling around quickly, his eyes slightly widening and his mouth gaping open as he saw the vision before him. "Alison," he breathed out softly.

~*~


	10. Must Be An Angel

****

Chapter Ten

The gentle knock upon the doorframe had Kevin looking up from the tablet he had been studying. When he encountered his wife, who appeared completely disappointed, he grinned softly at her. "I take it Rafe shared the news with you."

"Or the lack there of," Lucy replied in a sullen voice. "I was really hoping the session would trigger something for him. Anything that would remind him of-"

"Alison?" Kevin supplied in an emotionless tone.

Lucy's lips pursed in a saddened pout before she moved inside of the bedroom and closed the door behind her. "Doc, you know I wish nothing but the best for Livvie, but you know as well as I do that Rafe belongs with Alison."

His eyes fell toward the notes he had taken. "So you keep reminding me."

"I want Livvie to be happy, Doc, but she won't find happiness destroying other peoples' lives for her own welfare. She deserves to find someone that loves her like Rafe and Alison love-" Lucy's speech halted when she noticed Kevin ceaseless inspection of the paper in his hands. She frowned at the thought of being ignored, but was intrigued by what had his attention so raptly.

"Care to share with your wife the cause of you blocking out the sound of her voice?"

Kevin looked up then and shook his head, as if removing himself from his daze. "I'm sorry, Lucy. I am listening -- it's just this…"

Moving farther inside the room, Lucy came to stand before Kevin. Her hand tentatively reached out for the tablet he held toward her. "Are you sure you should be sharing this with me? I mean patient/doctor confidentiality and all?"

"Normally," Kevin began on a sigh, "that would be the case. But Lucy nothing is kept from you when it has to deal with your family. These are the notes I took during my session with Rafe."

Her eyes devoured the writing upon the paper as she absently asked, "I thought Rafe didn't remember anything?" She looked up at Kevin then and stared at him in confusion. "This doesn't look like he didn't recall anything. This looks like he remembered something significant."

"I didn't want to talk to Rafe about this until I could work this out in my head first. If this is all so confusing for me, I could only imagine what it would be like for him. I mean how could this all have happened? It just doesn't make sense, Lucy." Kevin immediately noticed his wife's bashful look as she gazed up from the tablet she had taken to reading again. "Lucy," he demanded in a drawn out voice, "what aren't you telling me?"

"Well," she began in a small voice. "Doc, I just can't blurt this information out. There are secrets to be had, promises that need to be kept. I can't very well tell you what I can't tell my cousin."

Kevin's frown grew deeper as he asked, "Which is?"

Lucy sighed as she handed Kevin back his notes and let her hands slap against her sides. "That Rafe is…"

****

Outside…

"Alison," Rafe said again as he let his eyes take her in. It had felt like an eternity since he had seen her in the church when she professed she would out Livvie as a liar. "What are you -- why, are you here?"

Her hands slid inside of her pants pockets as she felt her feet drawing her closer to Rafe, quickly closing the distance between them. "I came to see Lucy." Alison's blue eyes then slipped toward the Lighthouse terrace doors. "Well, I mean I already have." Her gaze fell back upon Rafe as she murmured, "Actually, I was just about to leave."

When she stepped closer to him his nose filled with her soft scent, which triggered his eyes to close so he could enjoy the sensations rocketing through his body at her closeness. He knew it was just a combination of shampoo and body soap, but it smelled heavenly on her and he knew there was nothing else on earth that could ever compare to it.

"I was about to get into my car and go, but I felt very compelled to come back here." Alison watched as his blue eyes reappeared and she fought to suppress the grin threatening. She still effected him as much as he effected her. It was hard being this close to him and not being able to touch him, feel his skin beneath her fingers, and enjoy the way he touched her as he kissed her. It was hard being without him period.

"Compelled?" Rafe asked, his brain still in a haze caused by the soft scent of Alison surrounding him.

"Yeah," she answered softly, as her fingers reached up and brushed some of her blonde hair behind her ear. "I just had this like overwhelming feeling -- this need to come back here." As her hand fell from her hair, Alison gestured toward the Lighthouse and added, "Not just here, but here … to this very spot. I was wondering if you could tell me why."

Rafe cleared his throat suddenly, wondering what made her say such a thing. Had she overheard his conversation with God? "Me? Why would I be able to tell you?"

"I don't know," she mused softly, her eyes betraying the innocence in her voice held. "It was just a thought." Alison bit her lower lip briefly, as she took in the look upon his face. He appeared conflicted. Like he wanted to be anywhere else than with her, but at the same time there was no other place he'd rather be. "I take it you didn't recall anything from your session with Kevin?"

His brow drew together at her question. "How did you know about that?"

"Lucy told me," she answered and watched Rafe nod his head like he should have known the answer himself. "I hope you don't mind that she did."

Rafe crossed his arms over the expansion of his chest while he braced his feet apart. "No, not really. I know you are as anxious as I am to get my memories back. Though both of us want me to remember the past for different reasons. I want to remember because I want my past back. And you-"

Her head tipped off to the side, as her blue eyes locked with his own. "And I selfishly want you to remember your past with me. I want you to remember the love we shared. I want you to remember all of the promises we made to each other. I want you to recapture everything you lost so you can see what kind of woman you are married to."

His gaze fell away from Alison's and down to the ground as he sighed. "Alison--" his hand drifted to the back of his neck and absently began to massage the tense muscles there "--even if that were to happen, I still have a child with Livvie. A baby that will forever link me to her and I won't abandon him or her nor could I Livvie."

Alison's chin lifted in slight defiance of his words. "I wouldn't expect you to. But you know that I don't think she's pregnant, in fact a lot of people suspect she's not. Has she been to the doctor's since her announcement? Have you sat there with her and made sure of the results? Rafe, you just don't know how good of a liar Livvie is. Then again, you just might since you like believe every word she has ever said to you."

Rafe heard the anger in her voice and he felt his own rise at her dig. "Now, hold on a second-"

She held up her hand to still his words. "No, you hold on." Alison's eyes filled with anger as her body pulsed with her agitation. Why she was suddenly so annoyed, she wasn't quite sure. But now that she was letting Rafe have it, have it he would.

"I've sat idly by and listened to Jack and Jamal tell me over and over how a person can't be lead around by someone else unless they want to be. Of course I kept telling them Livvie tricked you and how she's continually taken advantage of your lack of memory. But now I'm beginning to see what they were talking about. God only knows it's in your nature to like see the best in everyone, but you should see right through her. If you were your old self you would!"

"That's the problem, Alison!" Rafe snapped at her. "I'm not my old self. I'm not the man you were in love with. I'm not the person you and Lucy keep insisting that I am. This is who I am now." His hands flew to his chest and then jabbed at it hard. "Me. What you see is what you get. I'm sorry I can't be this -- this man you remember … because I don't know him. I can't remember the man who loved to see that look of undying love in your eyes every time you look this way. I'm -- I'm just this man. This man who has a wife and a child on the way."

Alison swallowed down the hot tears that threatened to fill her eyes, as she squared her shoulders and straightened her back. "You're right, you aren't the man I fell in love with. You aren't the man who swept into my life, turned it upside down and changed it for the better. Because I used to look into his eyes and know what he was thinking, you know? I knew what every look, every touch, every sigh meant." Her battle to hold back her emotions was lost as a single tear escaped the corner of her eye. "But you -- you I don't know and I'm not sure that I want to know you at all."

With that Rafe watched Alison whirl around and begin to walk away. He knew he should let her go, it was best that this thing between them end. That wasn't the cause though as he watched her leave and everything inside of him screamed to not let her leave and think of him like she was. But he had to because he had a life with Livvie, a life that demand he give his full attention to. 

But as he watched her near her car something like realization slammed into him. Not only was she just about to leave the Lighthouse, but she was about to leave him. Panic filled him then. A panic unlike he had ever felt before. A panic that had his feet eating up the distance between himself and Alison. He had to catch her.

Just as she opened her car door and was about to slip inside, Rafe shouted, "Wait!"

That had Alison's head snapping into his direction, her brow furrowed together, but she didn't move to leave. He then reached her side and was about to explain why he stopped, but the setting sun distracted him. It had sunk into the west just perfectly to where it sat just behind Alison, outlining her body in a soft glow -- a glow that seemed to place a shadow over her face.

Rafe's eyes narrowed upon her as his mind searched for a time where he had seen this before. He had seen this before, hadn't he? It sure as hell felt like he had. How could someone forget a picture as angelic as this?

"What do you want, Rafe?" She asked when he hadn't said a word to her, but only stared at her really oddly.

"Don't go, angel," he said softly as he lifted a hand toward her hair that seemed so golden in the fading day's light.

Alison's head shook, not believing her ears. "Did -- did you just called me 'angel'?" When Rafe said nothing, but only continued to look at her, Alison's lips shivered as she tried to fight a hopeful smile. "You did, didn't you?" When his head began to nod his answer, Alison felt a burst of happiness fill her as she asked, "You remember, don't you?!"

~*~


	11. A Little Interference

****

Chapter Eleven

__

Meanwhile…

****

Elsewhere

"Damn it!" James cursed loudly as he watched the scene play out before him on the screen. How in holy Hell had the damn angel been able to recall such a "vision"? Damn that sugary sweet Alison and her incessant need to be in Rafe's face all the time.

Ed gazed over at his counterpart, a smile upon his lips. "Something wrong, James?"

"No, nothing," came his accented reply. "I'm not worried in the least."

That had Ed turning toward James, his arms crossed over his chest. "Who mentioned anything about being worried?"

His eyes remained upon the screen before him as he answered, "I know you, Edward. I know how your mind works. If nothing were wrong you'd have asked me if I were worried. Perhaps under different circumstances I would be slightly inclined to worry, but your son will follow through as he always does with his vow of honor and leave Alison standing there."

"_Don't go, angel_." Rafe's voice echoed throughout the void James and Ed were standing in like it was playing in an empty movie theater.

Ed returned his eyes to the screen and smiled at his son. "Atta boy, Rafe," he encouraged in a quiet voice. "Remember your one true love, kiss her and open yourself to remember the past."

James' upper lip shivered with disgust at Ed's speech beside him. But his preoccupation with Ed didn't last long when he heard Alison's question of Rafe.

"_You remember, don't you_?!"

Was Rafe remembering? James experienced a slight version of panic. What if the fallen angel was remembering -- he would lose two souls. Well, he couldn't let that happen. Besides, he didn't like losing.

James lifted his hand to his face and gave a flick to one of his fingers near his nose. A pleased grin curled James' lips as he witnessed Rafe shaking his head and looking a little dumbfounded as well as dazed.

****

Back on Earth…

"Remember?" Rafe asked, still shaking his head. He felt as though he had just been awakened from a deep sleep and hadn't any idea to what was going on around him.

Alison's blue eyes danced over Rafe's face as she answered, "You called me 'angel'."

He lifted a hand to his head and scratched near his temple. "I did?" Rafe searched his mind for the happenings of the last few moments, but it was like they had never happened. "Why would I call you 'angel'?"

Her hope that had been bubbling up inside her began to shake wildly like a colt taking its first steps. Alison swallowed and tried to keep the smile upon her face as thoughts began to plague her of Rafe not remember at all. "I-I was hoping you could tell me why you called me 'angel' just now. There had to be a reason why you would do it."

Rafe's hands reached out and curled about her car door's frame as he sighed. "I'm not sure why I did it. I just looked at you, with the setting sun behind you, and you just sort of reminded me of an angel. That's all." His eyes that had been focused upon the ground lifted to meet Alison's and he saw the sadness written inside of them. "Was there some other reason I'd call you 'angel'?"

How many times had she gotten her hopes up that there was some clue that Rafe was returning to her? How often did she walk away from encounters with him feeling so shattered by them? How many times had she told herself that never again would she open herself up to hurt?

Swallowing what was left of her pride, Alison announced, "Look, Rafe -- uh -- I've gotta go." She then slipped into her driver's seat and shut her door.

****

Elsewhere…

Ed whirled on James quickly and accused, "You cheated!"

"I what?" James asked in an innocent voice.

"You cheated, you lying, scheming, manipulative bast-"

James lifted a finger and wagged it at Ed. "Ah, ah, ah, Edward. Come now, we can't have you using such filthy language. I wasn't cheating, I was simply rubbing my nose."

Ed's eyes narrowed as he felt rage fill him. "You were doing no such thing, you were interfering!" Without thinking, Ed reached out and grabbed James by his shirtfront and hauled him to within inches of Ed's own face. "You've cheated and you've broken your contract with me, which means my son and I will keep our souls."

"Oh, Eddie," James chuckled out humorously. "Surely you have proof that I interfered besides this wild accusation. I've done nothing more than scratch my nose."

"Right," Ed grunted, as he released his hold upon James. "You're right, I don't have any proof that you cheated or interfered." _But two can play this game_, Ed thought silently to himself as he gave his head a slight nod that was hardly noticeable.

****

Back on Earth…

"No, wait, you can't go," Rafe reminded her as he pulled his hands back from the door before Alison slammed them into her shut door.

"Can't I?" She challenged in a somewhat angry voice. "Because last time I looked you were like married to my ex-best friend. God," Alison breathed out, "why are you doing this?"

His hands claimed the open window's ledge as he lowered himself to eye level with Alison. "You know I hope He knows because I have no clue to why I'm doing this. By all rights I should let you just walk out of my life because I have responsibilities and obligations that I have pledged myself to. To go back upon them is just not who I am."

"Why are you telling me all this?" She growled angrily, her hands grabbing her steering wheel and gripping it tightly as she stared straightforward. "Try telling me something I don't already know."

Rafe inhaled a deep breath of air as he searched himself for an answer to her question. Then just as the fog had appeared in his brain, it cleared just as instantly. When he had clarity again, Rafe opened his mouth and said the first words that came to mind.

"Because I just can't walk away from you, no more than I could just walk away from Livvie. It's like you're in my blood Alison. It's like you are in there and no matter what I do or how hard I try I can't get you out of my system. You are like this drug I just have to have. My fixes consist of just seeing you, even a mere glimpse, walking by or your smile or that look in your eyes saying that you could love me forever and always. And once I have this fix I am high for just a little while and then I need more of you. That need will never stop."

"Rafe, I-"

He reached inside of the car and placed a finger upon her mouth to prevent her from speaking. "Don't. Not yet." When she nodded her head, Rafe lowered his finger from her lips and gazed down at the appendage. His skin was tingling from the soft contact and it trembled its way toward his heart, which felt like it were going to explode.

"This … this is what I'm talking about. I touch you and I feel as though I could die knowing what it was like. But then I realize that if I die then I'd never be able to touch you again." He shook his head and he chuckled in spite of the humorless situation. "When you found me out on Lucy's terrace I talking to God about how grateful I was to be standing there alive, but no matter how grateful I was -- am, I still wanted something more."

"What more do you want?" Her voice a barely audible whisper.

"I wanted Him to give me a sign. Do I stay with Livvie and the baby or do I do what everything in me is begging me to do and be with you?" Rafe swallowed then and gave Alison a shaky smile. "I think he answered me."

She wouldn't get her hopes up. She refused to let herself get up only to be knocked down again. But one wouldn't know that with that butterfly feeling instantly springing into stomach and the excited tremble in her voice as she asked, "Rafe?"

The corners of his mouth twitched with an impending smile and his eyes seemed to hold a light that had been absent from them for a very long time. "Alison," he breathed out as he lifted a hand to her face and combed his fingers through her silken blonde hair. "Alison, I-"

"Rafe, what are you doing?"

As his hand flew back from Alison's hair, Rafe's head whipped into the newcomer's direction as he said, "Livvie."

Her dark eyes flicked between her husband and her ex-best friend, taking in the scene. She had begun to grow suspicious when Rafe hadn't come back inside and she hadn't seen Alison's car leave the Lighthouse. She then decided to investigate and found the two of them in what looked like the beginnings of a kiss. Livvie's back stiffened as her eyes threw daggers at the blonde she had grown to despise.

"When was it exactly, Alison," she hissed out, "that you decided to become a home wrecker?"

Alison felt Rafe's eyes upon her, she knew he was wondering what she was going to do. She was wondering that herself when she heard Livvie's voice. She was going to do nothing -- well, that was until Livvie decided to name call. "Oh, that does it," Alison grumbled beneath her breath and quickly got out of her car.

When she stood beside Rafe, Alison snapped, "You're calling _me_ a home wrecker? Me?! You are so one to talk, Livvie. You are the one who damages anything that falls into her path if she doesn't get her way. You are the one who stumbles upon men with amnesia and fills their head with lies." Alison's finger pointed directly at Livvie as she yelled, "You are the one who is faking a pregnancy to hold on to a man."

Livvie's eyes narrowed upon Alison, her hatred boiling over. "It's not like Rafe couldn't go to you if he really wanted to Alison. Nothing was stopping him from reclaiming his 'true love' the moment I found him. If you had been so important to him, like you say you were, than it would have taken a lot more than it did to get him into my bed."

"Oh, you little-" Alison seethed as she began to storm toward Livvie.

"Whoa!" Rafe called out as his arms reached out to capture Alison about the waist before she could get anywhere near Livvie. "Alright, Ladies, let's just calm down a little and talk this through."

"Calm down? How can you ask me to like calm down when she -- _she_ calls me a home wrecker?! She's the one that stole the most precious thing from me and she has the nerve-" Alison angrily exclaimed as she tried to work Rafe's hands free from her. "You know what -- you are the most evil and twisted person I know, Livvie Locke."

"Kovich," Livvie corrected as her chin lifted, her hands finding her hips and a satisfied smile curling her lips. "Livvie Kovich."

Alison suddenly stopped struggling against Rafe's hold and snickered softly. She then returned Livvie's smile with one of her own as she proudly stated, "You know, you may have his name, Livvie, but I have what is most important. I have his heart." Alison then turned in Rafe's arms, placed her hands on either side of his cheeks, lifted herself up on to her toes and claimed his mouth with her own.

~*~


	12. Do You Remember When?

****

Chapter Twelve

The moment her lips touched his warmth flooded through him like the first rays of morning sunlight. It cast a glorious sensation along every nerve ending in his body, which made him shiver with wonder at the sheer power a mere kiss had over him. 

Not just any kiss, but Alison's kiss.

Each caress of her lips over his felt like a new touch that he had never felt before and he wanted to experience every single one. Then the tenderness in the way she kissed him made his breath catch in his throat and his heart pound in his chest.

Had it always been like this kissing her? It had to have been. Even when Jack had locked him and Alison in her grandmother's attic he recalled the breathlessness of their kisses, the hunger she had stirred inside of him, and the overwhelming urge to be with her in the way that he longed for what seemed like forever.

Then Alison leaned away from him, just ever so slightly, and gazed up at him with hooded eyes. Written within their depths were the very same emotions and feelings he was experiencing. His hand then lifted from his side and his fingertips sought out the gentle curve of her jaw line just below her chin. "Alison," he breathed out in a shaky voice. His gaze then fell to her kiss swollen bottom lip and was about to recapture it in another kiss, when Alison was suddenly torn from him.

"You bitch," Rafe then heard. He immediately pulled himself from the daze he was in to witness Livvie whipping Alison around and punching her square in the mouth. Being caught completely off guard by the hit, Alison stumbled back into Rafe's body, her hand lifted to her mouth and then came away with blood.

"How dare you kiss my husband!" Livvie yelled and then began to storm at Alison again.

Rafe quickly tucked Alison behind his back and then he moved forward to head off any further attack Livvie had in mind. His hands flew up before him and grabbed a hold of Livvie's forearms to hold her in place. "Calm down," Rafe instructed his wife in an even tone.

Her dark eyes were focused on Alison, murder clearly blazing within them. "Calm down? How can you ask me to calm down when she kissed you right in front of me?"

Alison wiped the back of her hand along her bleeding lip and laughed softly. "Hurts doesn't it, Livvie? Watching someone take something from you that doesn't belong to them."

Livvie charged at Alison again, but Rafe kept his hold upon her. "Alison," he said over his shoulder, his eyes still on Livvie's face, "I think you had better go." He didn't need to see the shock on her face to hear it in her voice.

"Go? But-"

"I think it's best," he said firmly, leaving no room for argument. "Livvie's pregnant and I don't need her upset any further. So, please go."

****

The following day…

__

The Recovery Room

Jamal tucked his hand beneath Alison's chin and turned her face from side to side. "It doesn't look all that bad, Spunky," he insisted, even though the bottom right corner of her lip was swollen and a tear marred the skin. Then there was the area about the corner of her mouth that was slightly off color, but the damage could have been worse.

"I can't believe she hit you," Jack muttered and then picked up his drink. "I mean I know we should all expect the unexpected from Livvie, but I never thought she'd actually attack you."

Alison gently touched her fingertips to her lip before flinching back from it. Her blue eyes flipped from Jamal to Jack as she sighed. "Oh, I believed she'd attack me, I mean why not? She's already stole Rafe from me, why not punch me when I decide to fight back?"

That caused a smile and a short snicker from Jamal. "I still can't get over how you just kissed Rafe right in front of her." He chuckled then, envisioning the scene, which had both Alison and Jack joining in. "That took a lot of guts."

"Not really," Alison lamented and then looked down at her ice water, wishing she could press it against her sore lip. "Kissing Rafe was something I did without thinking. She just made me so angry calling _me_ the home wrecker, while it was her who steam rolled through my life making sure nothing was left standing." Her fingers began to drum against the tabletop as her brow drew together, the only frown she could manage without experiencing pain.

"Hurricane Livvie," Jack added as his fingers toyed with the condensation on his glass. "Blows right into your life and she's not happy if she doesn't leave you broken or worse for wear." He cleared his throat and then looked up from the cup he had been staring at. "So, what are your plans now? You basically have Rafe right where you want him."

Alison pushed some of her blonde hair back from her face as she continued to stare down at the table. "I'm not sure yet. I guess we wait for the information Lucy's investigator dug up."

"Uh-uh," Jamal insisted. "You've got to strike while the irons still hot. Your boy is ripe for the picking. If he's telling you that you're in his system, Ali, don't ease up on him. You've got to convince him that you are the one he's supposed to be with."

"Jamal's right," Jack added, which had Alison looking up at him. "Don't give Livvie the opportunity to change his mind about anything. The faster you can get Rafe away from her, the faster her lies can be exposed. I don't know about you guys, but I am far too ready for the world to know what kind of lying, betraying, awful human being that bit-"

"Don't look now, but she just walked in," Alison murmured as she leaned in toward the two men she sat with. Her eyes were focused upon the table before her, so not to give away the fact that Livvie had indeed been spotted.

Jack and Jamal turned slightly in their chairs to witness the sight for themselves, which had Alison hissing at them, "You're not supposed to look!"

Jamal shook his head and grinned while he watched Livvie find a table near the door. "Sorry, Ali, force of habit. When someone says, 'don't look' it's instinctual to in fact look at what we're not supposed to. Besides, I think this is something you ought to see."

That had her gazing into the direction Jack and Jamal couldn't seem to take their eyes away from. What she found was Livvie sitting alone and looking awfully upset. Alison's head shifted slightly to the left as she continued to watch her ex-best friend glare at everything and yet nothing at all.

"I wonder what has her in a foul mood," Jack muttered so only his tablemates could hear.

"Probably has something to do with Ali planting a big kiss on her husband," Jamal supplied in a voice filled with humor.

Alison's blue eyes flicked on to Jamal's face and frowned at him, all the while trying to not smile. She had declared herself a small victory the previous day against Livvie. She proved to the woman that not only was Rafe's heart still hers, but no matter how many lies Livvie fed him he still wanted her. And did he ever.

Her heart sped up slightly as excitement raced through her body at the thought. Her lips still felt warm from his kiss, her jawline still tingling from the caress of his fingertips, and her body seemed to sing with a fire she hadn't felt in a long time. She was alive with feelings and sensations that had she had been forced to bury when she discovered the depths of Livvie's treachery and Rafe's lack of memory. But now she no longer had to deny herself anything, for within in reach was everything she had ever wanted.

Rafe.

She felt herself sitting up a little straighter in her chair as she watched the man she had just been thinking about enter the Recovery Room. Alison then felt Jamal's hand upon her arm and Jack's eyes upon her. "Here's your chance," she heard Jamal inform her quietly. "Go get your man, Spunky."

It took only a moment to consider her options and then pushed her chair back from the table she sat at. The movement had to have caught Rafe's attention, because his gaze that was roaming about landed on her. The moment those beautiful blue eyes of his fell upon her everything in the room seemed to stop except the wild beating of her heart.

Alison wasn't sure if it was excitement or nervousness that effected her heart, but the harder it pounded the more she was sure it was nerves. Normally seeing the man she loved didn't evoke this kind of feeling in her, actually it was the exact opposite. But seeing him now, seeing him after he practically rejected her after their kiss, she couldn't help but be unsure of how to approach him.

Especially with Livvie in the room.

Damn Livvie. The woman had a penchant for sensing moments where she wanted to be alone with Rafe. Livvie always managed to pop up at exactly the wrong moment and put a damp towel upon the situation. Much like she had the day before.

Her blue eyes flew into Livvie's direction to see if she had noticed Rafe's arrival. When it looked like she hadn't, Alison practically ran at Rafe, grabbed his arm, and then dragged him back out the way he had come in. When the two of them stood outside, alone, Alison let a nervous smile trip over her lips as she gazed up at Rafe's somewhat shocked face.

"Forgive me for like pretty much tackling you out here," she apologized in a soft tone, her face then focusing towards the ground. "But I wanted to talk to you."

A gentle grin tugged at the corners of Rafe's mouth as his eyes danced over her blonde hair that hung freely about her face. "I figured as much. I needed -- I needed to talk to you too." He paused a moment as his hand traveled towards her chin. "This would be so much easier if you were looking at me." When he tipped her chin up to face him, Rafe immediately noticed the discoloration about her mouth, the swollen lip with the tear in it.

An emotion Alison dare not put a name to, for fear she could be wrong, had Rafe's brow furrowing together and his lips forming into a frown. "You needed me to see that look upon your face?"

"What?" He asked in a puzzled tone and then quickly shook his head, as if he were pulling himself from a daze. "Oh, no. I was just admiring Livvie's handy work." Rafe swallowed then and let his eyes slip to his fingers that still held Alison's chin, then sighed.

Thousands of emotions flooded through him pounding him over the head trying to get their point across. At the forefront, as always, was his sense of duty and obligation to Livvie and the baby. He knew that yesterday had really hurt Livvie deeply and he had caught hell for _allowing_ Alison to kiss him. Not that there was any allowing involved in that kiss -- it was done of his own free will. Livvie just assumed otherwise and he hadn't felt the need to correct her.

But just passed the duty and obligation lay another emotion that no longer wanted to be ignored. No longer was it willing to just sit idly by and be pushed off to the wayside like it didn't exist. Not that he was doing such a brilliant job of ignoring it anyway. With everything in him he wanted to be with Alison. When he lay in bed at night Alison filled his every dream. Then when he awoke in the morning, eyes still closed, it was her that he prayed was laying snuggled up against him. It's her face that he wished were across from him at breakfast and every meal that followed.

He wished it were Alison that carried his child.

Rafe pulled himself from his thoughts and trailed his fingers from Alison's chin to her bottom lip. What he wouldn't give for Alison to be carrying his child. For her to complete the dream he longed for, a dream he never realized he had wanted until Livvie announced she was pregnant. Life would be so much easier and wonderful if only it was Alison that was pregnant.

Then suddenly inside of his head he heard her voice, Alison's voice, cutting into his thoughts as clearly as if it were his own.

__

Make a baby with me. 

His brow pinched together as his eyes flew to Alison's face. The voice had so clear and vibrant it was like she had spoken it from right beside him. But her face told him she hadn't said a word. Actually she was looking at him curiously like he had said something strange. His gaze fell to the ground as he tried to search his mind for the source or memory from where Alison's voice came.

  
Just as the imagery of the living room in Lucy's house where Alison was living popped into his head, so did Rafe's own voice.

__

You want to run that by me again? You said you want to have a baby? 

The scenery outside of the Recovery Room faded away and before him now was Alison looking at him with pleading eyes. Pleading eyes that begged for understanding and that he say yes to her question. Rafe found himself feeling hesitant over the thought of having a baby with Alison, not that he didn't want to, but because he could leave her to raise a baby by herself.

But before Rafe could analyze the feelings pulsing through him as this memory cascaded over him, Alison spoke again, her voice filled with calm and a smile, which almost distracted him from the look of pleading still in her eyes.

__

…Rafe, listen to me -- I know that this sounds crazy, ok, and I know that this doesn't even come close to being practical, but, Rafe, let's face it, I mean, you and I together are anything but practical, and yet here we are. Somehow it was our destiny for us to find each other and to fall in love … Somehow, someway, our having a child is what's meant to be. Please tell me that you see that, too.

"Rafe," Alison murmured gently as her hand covered Rafe's that was still lingering near her mouth. When he still continued to look out into space, she felt a smile tug at her lips. "Rafe," she said again a bit more firmly. When Alison saw him blink his eyes and shake his head she laughed softly. "Where did you go?"

"I-I think -- I mean I'm pretty positive -- I think I just had a memory."

Her eyes widened with surprise as her hand involuntarily squeezed Rafe's. "What? What did you remember?"

Rafe's gaze connected with Alison's while he shoved his free hand through his hair and breathlessly chuckled somewhat unsure of himself. "I -- well, you asked me if I would have a baby with you."

~*~


	13. Revelations

****

Chapter Thirteen

__

Inside the Recovery Room

Jack couldn't take his eyes from Livvie. That had always been his problem since he fell for her. There was just something about her that men, that he himself, couldn't resist, and to this day he still tried to fight that power she had over him.

"If you're not careful," Jamal warned in a low voice, "when she looks at you, you might just turn to stone."

That had Jack's gaze flying into his best friend's direction. "Funny," he muttered and then once again returned his eyes to Livvie. "When did everything go wrong with her?" He wondered aloud as he took in the deceptively calm look that had suddenly settled upon her face. He could almost believe that she was just an innocent babe in the woods who had lost her way, and that nothing that had happened was her fault.

__

Almost.

He could completely buy into her "it's everyone else's fault, but my own" act if not for the fact that Livvie had mastered the art of lies and manipulation, so much so that she had to be the very queen of it. Not a word that came out of her mouth had a ring of truth to it, not a single tear she shed had any real sadness behind it, and not one "I'm sorry" had a single ounce of remorse within it. The Livvie he knew and loved was gone.

"She changed right about the time those candles made an appearance in Port Charles," Jack answered in a disappointed tone. "How could a simple little ball of wax have such a profound effect on someone?"

Jamal watched Jack for a few silent moments, trying to figure out how to word his response. When he was sure he had the words, he sighed and then replied, "If you want to know the honest to God truth, Jack, I think she never really recovered from Caleb."

That had Jack glancing back to Jamal, his brow pulling together with his confusion.

"Not that he's a reason to explain away all of her misdeeds, and we all know how long that list is," Jamal amended quickly. "But look at it like this -- her coming in contact with Caleb was like her getting a massive cut upon her face. She could cover it up with all the make-up in the world and to everyone she'd look perfectly all right. But beneath it all is a scar that still remains from that encounter."

Jamal inhaled a long breath, folded his hands together and then laid them upon the table before him as he exhaled. "It only takes a little bit of soap and water to wash away what she was desperately trying to hide from us all. And what sparked the removal of her mask was her thinking Ali killed Kevin."

Jack shook his head as he allowed Jamal's words to sink in. "It's just so impossible to think of how far Livvie has gone off the deep end. You would think the person I fell in love with would surface once again, but instead she's drowning in this vindictive veneer she's had up since -- well, since whenever she put it up."

The sound of a chair backing away from a table had Jamal's eyes snapping towards Jack. What he found was his best friend standing and preparing to walk into Livvie's direction. "What are you doing, buddy?" He asked as his hand snaked out and grabbed Jack's arm.

He paused only a heartbeat in his movements to look down at Jamal as he said, "I'm going to go talk to her."

"What--" Jamal's hand fell to his side as Jack pulled his arm free "--what do you possibly have to say to her, Jack? You're just asking for trouble going over to her table."

"Thanks for the warning," Jack muttered over his shoulder at Jamal and then continued on to Livvie's table. As he crossed the room he searched his mind for whatever he was going to say to her. He wasn't exactly sure why he was doing this. Jamal was right, he was asking for trouble. But he couldn't help himself.

Moments later Jack found himself standing before Livvie's table staring down into her angry dark eyes. He knew she was about to lay into him, especially after their last meeting, but he didn't really care. He needed to have a conversation with her. A conversation only he could have with her. A conversation only a person who had been in love with her and knew her like he did could have.

"Is anyone sitting here?" He asked as he gestured to the chair that sat before him.

Livvie's eyes dropped to the object in question, her lips curling into a deep frown. "Yes."

Jack pulled out the chair and plopped himself down into it. "Thanks," he said casually, ignoring the murder in Livvie's eyes directed right at him. "We need to talk," Jack announced bluntly, meeting her gaze with his own.

"What could we possibly have to talk about?" Livvie wondered in an annoyed voice, her fingers toying with the napkin dispenser before her.

"I think you need help," he answered honestly, his hand reaching out to cover hers.

Livvie quickly withdrew her hand from beneath Jack's and snorted, "Excuse me?"

Jack pulled his hand back then rubbed both of them together as stated, "Help, Livvie. I think you need help. Something Jamal said made me realize that you do."

As she curled her arms beneath her breasts, Livvie demanded, "What did Jamal say about me?"

His shoulders lifted in a gentle shrug as he sighed out, "It wasn't so much what he said about _you_, but something that helped explain something to me about you."

"You know I don't give a damn what you or Jamal think about me. I'm perfectly fine and-"

"Are you?" Jack interrupted. His brow drew together in concern, true concern, as he leaned forward on to the table to close the distance between himself and Livvie. "Are you really perfectly fine? Because to everyone who knows you -- you haven't been behaving like yourself for quite some time. You've been this woman who thinks everyone is out to get her. You've done some horrible things and blamed others for your actions. You've been this person who doesn't want to take responsibility for their own life, you just want to take and take and take."

With a wild roll of her eyes, Livvie sat back farther in her chair and huffed, "Oh, what do you know Jack? Why don't you go play in your bike shop some more and leave living life to the grown ups."

Jack shook his head, a small grin upon his lips. "What happened to you, Livvie? What happened to the woman that everyone used to know and love? The woman you were before Caleb, because I know she's in there," he stated as he pointed to her chest. "She's in there some where wanting to come out and rejoin the people she loves, the very same people the person you are now has alienated."

She still refused to meet Jack's unwavering gaze. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Lucy," Jack reminded her. "She used to have your back, then you turned on her like a rabid animal. I'm not sure what your dad thinks about you, but you know he has to be trying real hard to not look at all the damage you've done. Then there's Alison. You've practically ripped out her heart and stomped on it, you ruined her life for no good reason. Then there's me."

That finally had her eyes meeting his. "You? What about you?"

****

Meanwhile… 

__

Outside

Alison couldn't believe her ears. She must have misheard him. There was no way Rafe had said what she thought he had. Had he? Because if he had truly remembered her asking him to have a baby with her, did this mean that his memory was returning? And what would that mean for her and Rafe if it were?

"Well?" Rafe asked almost impatiently. "Was this a memory or is this just something that I desperately wish would happen?"

The excited squeak of laughter that left Alison sounded almost like a sob as both of her hands covered her mouth. She shook her head in agreement to what he had said, but realized that he wouldn't know exactly what she was saying "yes" to. "It's a memory," she whispered out, as she felt hot tears begin to shimmer their way across her eyes. "Oh God, Rafe, it's a memory."

Her words slammed into him like a Mack truck. A memory … a genuine, honest to God recollection of his past. A tiny morsel of information from a time that was so foreign to him. An image from a moment in his life that he had resigned himself to move on from. But apparently his past wasn't ready to be put behind him. It wanted to be reclaimed.

"Alison," he breathed out as his hands shot towards her face and claimed her cheeks, causing Alison's hands to fall between them. "A memory! Can you believe it, a memory!" Excitement poured over him like the sun from a warm summer's day, a day that would be imprinted upon one's mind for the rest of their life. An excitement that had him leaning forward and pressing his lips against Alison's.

A shocked gasp left her the instant his mouth met with her own. Then it only took a moment for her to relax against the familiar sensation of Rafe's skillful lips and her body to lean into the man before her. Being kissed by Rafe was like going home again. It was as though her never-ending thirst had finally been quenched. Like every disappointment she had ever experienced was washed away by his mouth and the gentle caress of his fingertips upon her cheeks.

It was pure Heaven being kissed by her angel.

Regretfully, Rafe tilted his head back ever so slightly, ending his kiss with Alison, so he could catch his breath. After he opened his eyes, Rafe reveled in the opportunity to gaze upon Alison. Her face was still upturned toward his, her eyelids still firmly closed, and there was a soft hint of a smile upon her thoroughly kissed lips.

"You," he began in a gently shaking voice, "you are so beautiful." The backside of his fingers then grazed across one of Alison's cheeks and he marveled at the silkiness of her skin.

"Rafe," she breathed out, her eyes now appearing and locking with his. "I can't believe you remembered that. Do you remember everything about that moment or just…"

As Alison's sentence drifted off, Rafe began to dig into the blackness of his memories, or lack there of, to see if he could discover whatever it was Alison wanted him to say. There obviously had to be something more than just remembering that she had wanted to have a baby with him or she wouldn't have asked if he recalled everything about the situation.

Rafe waded through the recent memories he had claimed for himself and couldn't find any hint of the information Alison was seeking. Not a thing. "I … I don't." His blue eyes never wavered from Alison's as he asked, "Would you fill in the rest of the gap? Tell me what it is you are wanting me to say."

He could see she was fighting with herself over how to answer him. Something in her eyes told him of how much she wanted to tell him everything, but the look upon her face read of the exact opposite. When she finally came to a decision, Alison opened her mouth to speak, but Rafe cut her off.

"Wait," he interrupted in a pleading voice. "I know what you're about to say. You're going to tell me that you want me to recover my past on my own. Normally, I would be all for that -- so I could be certain of my past, that it was what truly happened and not what someone force fed me." Alison tried to say something again, but Rafe held up his hand and pressed a finger against her lips. "Please … I want to say this."

When she nodded her head, he continued. "But everything inside of me tells me that you would be truthful. That you would tell me every detail of my life." Both of his hands then drifted to her shoulders and claimed them as he announced, "I trust you, Alison. I _want_ you to tell me about my past. I can handle anything you tell me. I've waited long enough for my memory to return on its own, now I want to be filled in and I want you to do it.

"Now," he said in a firm voice, "there is nothing keeping you to your vow to let me remember on my own. So, tell me everything you know."

~*~


	14. Decisions

****

Chapter Fourteen

****

Meanwhile…

__

Elsewhere

Ed's gaze slipped away from the screen before him and eyed his counterpart, all the while trying to hide the grin that threatened to appear. "What a dilemma, eh, James?" He asked, humor dripping from his voice. He had waited so very long for this moment. The moment where Alison would tell Rafe everything he needed to know, perhaps then some, and his son would magically regain his memory.

But Ed knew it didn't work like that. Rafe would only regain his memory when he fell in love with Alison once again. And he was so on the verge. The only thing preventing Rafe from fully exploring his feelings for Alison was Livvie.

Heaven help that girl.

She'd need it on her side if she ever planned to make it through the pearly gates. That girl was trouble, no doubt about that. She was screwed up in her ways and she needed a helpful guiding hand. And Ed was positive the only hand she was getting was a not so healthy shove from was the wrong side of the "law".

"Dilemma?" James questioned, still not taking his eyes from the scene playing out before him. "I'm not quite sure I know what you mean."

Ed turned to fully face the man beside him and noticed his face and eyes were vacant of the fear and worry he was sure would be there. "Alison. Once Rafe hears from the woman he loves-"

"Loved," James corrected, finally swinging his dark gaze into Ed's direction. "The word is loved, Edward. And the only emotion Master Rafe feels with any certainty right now is confusion. Having Alison explain to Rafe who and what he truly is will only confuse the boy more. You know that as well as I do."

A cocky smile then appeared on the man's face as he crossed his arms over the breadth of his chest. "We should just chalk this up as point for my side if Alison tells Rafe he's an angel. Because you know this can only end badly." James then leaned toward Ed with a wicked smile upon his lips, as he snickered, "And you know how much we love pain and suffering over here."

James then looked back at the screen and pointed at the figure of Alison. "So go ahead, Edward, root for her to shed some light on the subject for Rafe. We saw how your son reacted when Lucy casually suggested he might be an angel. Imagine what he'd do if he learned the truth from dear, sweet Alison that he is nothing more than a resurrected dead man."

****

Back on Earth

__

Outside the Recovery Room

"Everything?" Alison questioned in a soft voice. "You want me to fill you in on your entire past -- well, the parts you don't remember?"

A brief grin tugged at the corners of Rafe's mouth as his hands gently squeezed Alison's shoulders. "Yes. I want to relive my memories through your eyes."

Her blue eyes fell from Rafe's as she took a step back from him. "Shouldn't your own memories be best viewed through your eyes?" Once she swallowed down her heart, which shot into her throat after the decision she made, Alison sighed heavily while tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear. "God, Rafe, you don't know how much it means to me to hear you say that you trust me. I mean if I had been in your shoes and everyone tried to tell me their version of my life I'd have probably gone nuts and have believed no one."

Ripping her gaze from the ground, Alison looked up at Rafe's face and immediately recognized the disappointment staring back at her. "I'm so sorry, Rafe. I want nothing more than to tell you everything-"

"Than do it," he urged in a begging voice as he made a grad for one of her hands.

When her smaller hand was tucked inside of Rafe's, Alison sighed out, "I just can't."

His eyes danced over her face as he fought down the surge of frustration at Alison's reluctance. "Why not?"

"You have to understand that if I were to tell you about your past and you came to me because of that, it wouldn't be on my merits as someone you love, it would be like by default. I want to be with you Rafe, but I don't want you by telling you about a past you don't remember and memories that you can't recall. I want you back because of me, because you want to be with me, because you can't stand to be without me. Mostly because you fell in love with me again, not because of this magical time that means nothing to and everything to me."

Alison withdrew her hand from Rafe's, unable to look into his saddened eyes any longer, and then turned away from him. "I'm sorry if this hurts you, but I think it's for the best that you regain your memory on your own." She crossed her arms beneath her breasts while sighing. "I mean if the baby memory is any indication, you should have your memory back in no time."

He wasn't sure what to say to her. Her denying him this simple request wasn't exactly the answer he had expected. Though, he probably should have. Everyone had been negligent in telling him about his past, they all wanted him to regain his memory on his own. But why? What was so awful that they couldn't tell him about it and wanted him to learn it for himself?

"What are you afraid of?" Rafe thought aloud, unaware that he had even spoken until Alison whipped around to face him.

Her brow was pinched together and her lips were curled into a confused frown. "Excuse me?"

The more he thought about it, the more convinced he was that there was something horrendously wrong with him that no one could bare to speak of it. If that were the case, did he really want to remember at all? But he had a right to know and everyone, specifically Lucy, Livvie, and Alison knew this secret about his past. This secret they couldn't bring themselves to speak about for fear of what -- his reaction? That he may transform into this beast of a person he formally was?

As he continued to brood over this very fact, annoyance began to flood through his system quite rapidly. "You heard me," Rafe began, his tone mirroring how he felt. "What are you and everyone else in this town afraid to tell me about me?"

His sudden burst of anger surprised Alison. It ticked her off as well. "No one is _afraid_ to tell you about your past, Rafe. And not everyone in this town knows everything about you. Most of this town doesn't know who you are. And the people that do know you, they know you as a slayer."

That had Rafe closing the distance between Alison and himself. "Then what is it about my past that you can't seem to tell me? What is it about me that you so desperately want to hide?"

Her arms fell away from her stomach as her hands landed upon her hips. "_I_ don't want to hide anything from you, Rafe. That is the difference between your wife and myself. _I_ want you to know everything there is to know about you, _I_ want you to remember us, _I_ want you to reclaim your memories so you can find out what a lying, and deceitful woman you are married to. _She_ would rather you stay clueless and feed from her heaping pile of lies she's served up on the plate she laid before you."

"Then if what you say is true and you want me to know everything about my past -- then tell me the truth!"

Alison lifted one of her hands from her hips and poked a finger into Rafe's chest. "You want to know the truth?"

Rafe threw his hands into the air as he said, "Yes."

"You want to know everything that Lucy and I have been keeping from you, because we think you should learn this fact on your own?"

"Yes!" He shouted as his hands slapped to his sides.

Poking him in the chest once more, Alison snapped, "Fine, Rafe Kovich. I will tell you _everything_!"

****

At the same moment…

__

Inside the Recovery Room

Jack glanced down at his hands that were threaded together upon the table before him. "What about me?" He asked himself, while he gave his head a slight shake. "You know, that has been the very same question I have been asking myself since I walked over here."

Livvie's face scrunched into a look of confusion. "What are you talking about? And what do you have to do with my life, Jack? Let alone the people that love me?"

What did he have to do with her life? They made it clear to each other months ago that it was over, and Livvie drove that nail into their coffin when she married Rafe. But was she really in love with the guy or was the drive to stick it to Alison all Livvie really cared about? He might be inclined to think he was sitting here with her because he was still in love with her and he wanted her back. But how could he be with someone who had done such horrible things like Livvie had? There was just no way.

"I've got to tell you something, and I'm going to be as blunt and honest as possible." He didn't wait for any snide comment she may have had, before he rushed on to explain further. "I'm not exactly sure why I walked over to this table, I'm even clueless as to why I sat down and started this conversation with you. I guess there was just something inside of me that wants to reach out and see if you are still human."

Livvie's eyelids lowered into a scowl as she snapped, "Nice Jack. Yes, I'm still human. Flesh and blood just like you and everyone else."

Jack shook his head in disagreement as she spoke. "No, Livvie, you're not just like everyone else. Everyone else wouldn't have screwed over their best friend. Everyone else wouldn't have turned on someone that cared about them, like Lucy and me, because we didn't think Alison was capable of the things you accused her of. If anyone has been the monster you've preached endlessly about -- it's yourself."

Suddenly Livvie rose from her seat as she stated, "You know I've heard this lecture before-"

"Yes," Jack began as he too stood and grabbed one of Livvie's wrists, "but you didn't listen to a damn thing I said. Because if you had you would end this farce of a marriage you have with Rafe and tell everybody that you aren't really pregnant. Then you would beg forgiveness from everyone that you hurt and do everything in your power to make it up to them."

Her eyes seemed to darken as she yanked her wrist free from Jack's hold and hissed, "I think you have me mistaken for someone who actually gives a damn about the people of Port Charles feel. Because I'll tell you one thing, Jack, I don't care about anyone-"

Jack took a hold of Livvie's upper arm and pulled her to within inches of his face, as he breathed out, "Well, maybe it's time you started. You have a lot of sin you have to atone for, Livvie. So unless you want to spend eternity in Hell with your Uncle Ryan and the rest of your crazy family, I suggest its time you got down upon your knees and pray that God take mercy upon your blackened soul."

Something Jack said must have scared the hell out of Livvie because she began to struggle against his hold. Her eyes were wild and her voice was extremely shaky as she demanded softly, "Let go of me, Jack."

His grip never slackened as he asked, "Afraid of a life in Hell, Livvie? Or is there something unsettling about being compared to someone evil like your Uncle Ryan?"

"Stop it, Jack," Livvie breathed out. "I'm not like my Uncle Ryan, I have never killed anyone!"

Jack's shoulders lifted in a could-care-less shrug as he smirked. "No? I guess framing someone else for murder is okay then, I mean after all it has to weigh less on the conscious, right? But there is that old saying, Livvie, the getaway driver is just as guilty as the person who actually pulled the trigger. So by that right, you are just as guilty as your Uncle Ryan. How does that make you feel?"

"Stop it!" She cried out as she pulled herself back from Jack's hold.

~*~


	15. You're Dead to Me

****

Chapter Fifteen

Across town…

__

The Lighthouse

Lucy smiled at Christina as she handed her daughter the supplies they would need for their picnic down at the footbridge. As her little girl continued to stack, as neatly as possible, the napkins into the basket, someone began knocking upon the front door. She promised Christina that she would be back in a flash, then Lucy rose from her crouched position at the coffee table in the living room and crossed the room to the door.

Just as she was about to open it, Kevin came down the stairs in a rush to answer the object himself. Lucy grinned at him and held up her hand toward him. "I've got it, Doc. Help Christina finish packing," she laughed out as the two of them looked toward the little girl and the mess she was making.

Once Kevin did as Lucy requested, she grabbed the doorknob and pulled it open. Her eyes widened at the man before her and cast a look over her shoulder at Kevin.

"Ms. Coe, Quinn Tyler," the man introduced.

Lucy glanced away from Kevin to the man in front of her and grinned nervously. When she didn't readily greet him, the man removed his baseball cap from his head as he said, "I'm the private-"

"Uh, right," Lucy said loudly, as shot a look back at Kevin and saw him investigating the happenings at the front door. "Right, Mr. Tyler, I know who you are. Let's go outside and discuss the donation." Lucy then ushered the man away from the door and closed it behind her.

"Ms. Coe, I'm not looking for donations. You hired me to-"

Her hand quickly shot up between them as she interrupted with, "I know exactly who you are and what I hired you to do. The problem, Mr. Tyler, is that my husband doesn't."

He nodded his head slowly as he muttered, "Ooh," and placed the cap back upon his head.

"Don't you investigators use the phone?" Lucy's eyes perused his tennis shoes, worn jeans, dark t-shirt, and brown leather jacket. "And don't you usually dress a little more-"

"Proper?" He asked and then grinned, which actually if he had been quite a few years younger could be charming. "Normally. But today is my day off."

Lucy crossed her arms beneath her chest as she wondered exactly how much time she had left with this man before Kevin got curious enough and come outside to see what was going on. "Then if this is your day off, why are you here?"

Without saying a word, Quinn reached inside of his leather jacket and pulled out an envelope. He wiggled the object between his thumb and forefinger as his charming grin transformed into one of devilishness. "I finally had a chance to develop these. They are quite interesting."

Reaching out, Lucy snatched the envelope from the man and practically tore inside of it to see its contents. The first picture showed Livvie leaving her apartment, the next was her coming into contact with Jack. The next few showed a heated discussion between the two, before Livvie changed locations and stood before a brick building. As Lucy continued to flip through the pictures the wording of the building came more and more into sight.

A gasp left Lucy as her eyes flew to the private investigator before her. "Do you realize what this means?"

"That I am well worth what I charge my clients."

Lucy continued to look at each and every one of the pictures as she returned, "That you are, Mr. Tyler." Once she finished gazing through the photos, Lucy shoved them back into their envelope and sighed. "I will have your money for you in the morning. I have to go have a conversation with my husband about his daughter."

****

A while later…

__

Alison's place

Alison unlocked the front door, swung it open and gestured that Rafe preceded her into the house. Once he walked over the threshold, Alison followed Rafe inside of the cottage they once shared and sighed. "Have a seat," she suggested as Rafe turned around to face her when he stood before the couch.

"I think I would rather stand," Rafe returned, his tone still a bit gruff.

With a shrug of her shoulders, Alison placed herself down into a chair, which sat diagonally from the couch, and glanced up at Rafe. "I think you should sit. What I'm about to tell you isn't going to be easy to hear." When Rafe continued to stand, Alison gave a shake to her head and pressed on with telling Rafe the truth.

She didn't feel good about this. Apprehension was squeezing her stomach into a ball and it made her heart pound heavily in her chest. She knew she shouldn't be doing this, this was something Rafe had to discover for himself. It wasn't every day that someone discovered he or she was an angel, and Alison had the feeling Rafe wasn't going to take the news well. How could he? It was like learning that the person you thought you were no longer existed.

"So," Rafe began as he broke the silence, "tell me about my past."

His blue eyes were filled with determination and the look upon his face told her that he wasn't going to bend from the decision he had made to hear about his past. No matter how much she knew this shouldn't happen, he was twice as determined to make it. So, after taking a deep breath to find the courage and words she needed to do this, Alison began the tale Rafe demanded to know.

"I'm not sure if there is a direct link to the two situations, but I think there is."

Rafe's brow drew together as he asked, "What are you talking about?"

Alison threaded her fingers together in her lap and met Rafe's confused blue eyes with her own. "I think the reason you can't remember the last ten years of your life is directly effected by where you've been all that time." The confusion upon his face only deepened and Alison sighed again. "I'm not explaining this very well. So I guess the only easy way to tell you about your past is to just say it."

"Please do," he urged, still standing.

"Rafe," Alison breathed out in a soft voice, "ten years ago you fought with Caleb because you were trying to protect an innocent woman from being killed."

Shock and disbelieve readily occupied Rafe's face as he snickered with uncertainty. "What are you talking about? I don't remember that."

Alison unfolded her hands and rose from the chair she was sitting in. She then moved to stand beside Rafe as she continued to tell him about his past. "I don't know why you don't remember this, because you recall everything else about your past. But you saved this woman from Caleb," she murmured in a gentle voice. "But when you had your back turned, Caleb stabbed you-"

Rafe's head was shaking with his denial to Alison's words. "You're telling me I'm dead?"

Lifting a hand to her forehead, Alison tried to bide herself some time to think of something to say. This was going so badly. He looked so confused, hurt, scared and angry. She shouldn't have told him any of this. He should have recovered these memories on his own.

"Alison," Rafe snapped, causing her to gaze back up at him. "Do you really expect me to believe this?"

Her hands flew before her as she tried to explain. "Rafe, I know it's hard to hear this, but you have to understand-"

"Understand what, that I'm dead?" He questioned aloud, though he wasn't in a position to listen to any response. "You're wrong, Alison," Rafe accused in an angry voice. "How can I be dead? I'm standing here, flesh and blood, living and breathing and-" Rafe's sentence fell short as his mind flashed back to a time where he had had this very same conversation with someone else.

__

"She just wouldn't tell me about -me-."

"And can you honestly say you would have believed her if she had told you … 'Rafe, you were a vampire slayer,'?"

"Yes, because I know that is true. I can remember that part of my life."

"Okay, well then would you have believed her if she had said, 'Rafe, you're dead'?"

"Are you saying I'm dead? That I'm some holy apparition floating around Port Charles."

"Holy, yes. Apparition, no. You are very much flesh and blood."

"Are you really asking me to believe that I'm dead? How can I be dead, Lucy? You tell me that I'm not a ghost, so if I'm dead than how could I be standing here with you having this conversation?"

"It's easy, Rafe. It's because you're an-"

Both of Rafe's hands flew to his face as he scrubbed his skin relentlessly. This wasn't happening. He wasn't hearing Alison tell him that he was dead. How could he be dead? It had to be a lie. She had this ready-made story about some battle with Caleb, in which the vampire stabbed him in the back. There was just no way that could happen. He would never be so caught off guard to be stabbed, let alone in the back.

"You're lying!" Rafe hissed out, his blue eyes landing upon Alison. He watched her own widen with shock and her mouth fall open at his accusation.

"How can you say that?" Alison asked as one of her hands landed upon her chest. "You said you trusted me to tell you about your past, then when I tell do you call me a liar? What is that? I tell you the truth, you call me a liar, and you take the word of a liar as gospel. What is wrong with you, Rafe?"

Rafe held his hands out before him in a tiny shrug, as he mockingly replied, "Maybe it's because I'm dead and I know no better."

"Stop it, Rafe!" Alison demanded angrily. "There is more to this story that you don't know. If you would only listen-"

"To more lies?" He interrupted, his lips curled into an angry smirk. "I don't think so, Alison. I think I have had about enough of this 'dead' lie from both you and Lucy."

"What?" Alison questioned as her head tipped slightly to the side. "Lucy has told you that you are-"

"Dead, yes. And I found it to be a joke then, but now it's not so funny, Alison." His hard eyes softened a little as he murmured, "I trusted you to tell me the truth-"

"I did!" Alison swore.

As if she hadn't spoken, Rafe continued with, "But instead you feed me this story you and Lucy cooked up to - to, I'm not sure what this was intended to do. But it was a sick joke." He then stared at Alison for a long cold minute before moving away from her and heading toward the door.

"Wait," Alison called out as she ran up to Rafe and grabbed his arm with her hand. He suddenly whirled around to face her, his eyes as angry and cold as she had ever seen them, and ripped his arm from her grasp. "Please, you have to listen to me. You have to know the full story -- Rafe, you need to know the truth."

"I guess if I want to know that, I'll have to ask my _wife_," Rafe said, stressing the latter word to intentionally hurt Alison. And it worked. Because as soon as he had spoke the word and the painful remark, Alison's hand fell to her side, and her eyes suddenly misted over with tears.

"Fine," she whispered and then swallowed down every emotion that was assailing her. "Go to Livvie and believe every word she ever tells you. But you'll never get the truth from her. Never."

"Are you finished?"

The sheer contempt in his eyes pointed directly at her was mirrored in his voice, and Alison felt like dying. She had never seen Rafe look at her like this before, and it was killing her to know he thought she was liar. "Yeah," she murmured and then watched him disappear behind her door.

God, what had she done?

~*~

To Be Continues …

P.S. Sorry for the lack of editing! LOL and it taking so long to get this out.


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